Nuggets S70 Presser
Posted: Thu Jun 06, 2024 2:11 pm
A silence hangs in the air, no one is sure how Coach Jedihero will enter the room after the explosion that occurred in last season’s presser.
The doors open, Jedihero slowly and calmly walks up to the podium.
“…DJ…Play that funky music white boy!”
*JOCK JAMS ARE Y’ALL READY FOR THIS STARTS PLAYING*
Jedihero starts dancing on the stage, just going absolutely bananas. He rips his jacket off to show the 2058 Alpha Conference Champions shirt on underneath. Confetti cannons are shot into the press area. Rocky the Lion enters the room with a T shirt cannon and absolutely blasts someone in the chest.
Everything finally calms down, Jedihero, being an overweight individual, stands at the podium panting into the mic, trying to catch his breath.
“…Good…Morning…Everybody.” *BREATHES DEEPLY*
“Welcome to S70, and I just want to start out by saying how happy and excited I am of what we accomplished this past season. Personally, I won Coach of the Year, which is a great honour and I appreciate everyone who voted for me with this award. We also had it through 2 grueling 7 game series, and 1 easy 6 gamer, to get to the Finals. Yes, we did get swept against an outstanding Pisstons teams, but my guys and this team went through hell and high water to get there, and I am SO GOD DAMN PROUD OF EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM!”
“We entered S69 pissed off, after a very disappointing loss in the first round of S68 playoffs. We had an outstanding start last year and jumped out to a solid lead in the division. That was quickly overtaken by a Bulls team who came down the stretch in great form, but we entered playoffs as the #3 seed and we deserved it, considering our schedule was less than kind the last 2 months of the season.”
“The Playoffs came and man, what a ride it was. We had a 7 game series against the Magic, who made trades mid-season and showed the league they were ready to compete by taking a 2-0 lead on both of our homes games, and going up 3-1 in the series. The Nuggies did not quit as we changed up a few things and took the next 3 games to close out the series and advance.”
“Next, we had the Celtics, who let’s be honest, had no business being where they were. We took them down in a 6-game series that seemed closer than it really was.”
“Finally, we had the Bulls, who have a reputation of being one of the toughest teams to face in the playoffs, and the trophy cabinet to back it up. We took them to a 7 game series and miraculously, beat them on the road, in Overtime, in what people are calling the greatest game ever to be played in Sim League history….allegedly. We took our place as Conference Title Champions and booked our trip to the finals."
“Finally, our Cinderella story came to an end when we got smashed by the Pisstons. It didn’t help that the backbone of our team, Ron Harper Jr, who had a fantastic year, got injured in Game 1 and was out until game 4. I want to congratulate the Pisstons on a great season, and hopefully we get to see them again sometime and extract some revenge.”
“NOW, onto this year, S70, I did everything I could to make sure we got the same pieces of our team back and had to dish out some funds in the process. I was really happy with Kofi’s move to PG after Amen left us high and dry last season, GET F@^&ED YOU P*&$^ @$$ B*(%&…..AHEM, excuse me. We made sure to exercise our RFA rights on him and then we turned around and offered a lucrative contract to Joseph Ford, who was one of the best 6th men in the league last year. I made a trade to get rid of some lower contracts and take on Chris Markham, who will add depth to the C/PF position, which is what we were sorely lacking last season.”
“As we move into training camp I’m putting an emphasis on conditioning and hoping we can get everyone fit and ready to make another deep run into the playoffs, but this time achieving the ultimate goal of being Champions.”
“I will now open the floor to questions..”
The doors open, Jedihero slowly and calmly walks up to the podium.
“…DJ…Play that funky music white boy!”
*JOCK JAMS ARE Y’ALL READY FOR THIS STARTS PLAYING*
Jedihero starts dancing on the stage, just going absolutely bananas. He rips his jacket off to show the 2058 Alpha Conference Champions shirt on underneath. Confetti cannons are shot into the press area. Rocky the Lion enters the room with a T shirt cannon and absolutely blasts someone in the chest.
Everything finally calms down, Jedihero, being an overweight individual, stands at the podium panting into the mic, trying to catch his breath.
“…Good…Morning…Everybody.” *BREATHES DEEPLY*
“Welcome to S70, and I just want to start out by saying how happy and excited I am of what we accomplished this past season. Personally, I won Coach of the Year, which is a great honour and I appreciate everyone who voted for me with this award. We also had it through 2 grueling 7 game series, and 1 easy 6 gamer, to get to the Finals. Yes, we did get swept against an outstanding Pisstons teams, but my guys and this team went through hell and high water to get there, and I am SO GOD DAMN PROUD OF EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM!”
“We entered S69 pissed off, after a very disappointing loss in the first round of S68 playoffs. We had an outstanding start last year and jumped out to a solid lead in the division. That was quickly overtaken by a Bulls team who came down the stretch in great form, but we entered playoffs as the #3 seed and we deserved it, considering our schedule was less than kind the last 2 months of the season.”
“The Playoffs came and man, what a ride it was. We had a 7 game series against the Magic, who made trades mid-season and showed the league they were ready to compete by taking a 2-0 lead on both of our homes games, and going up 3-1 in the series. The Nuggies did not quit as we changed up a few things and took the next 3 games to close out the series and advance.”
“Next, we had the Celtics, who let’s be honest, had no business being where they were. We took them down in a 6-game series that seemed closer than it really was.”
“Finally, we had the Bulls, who have a reputation of being one of the toughest teams to face in the playoffs, and the trophy cabinet to back it up. We took them to a 7 game series and miraculously, beat them on the road, in Overtime, in what people are calling the greatest game ever to be played in Sim League history….allegedly. We took our place as Conference Title Champions and booked our trip to the finals."
“Finally, our Cinderella story came to an end when we got smashed by the Pisstons. It didn’t help that the backbone of our team, Ron Harper Jr, who had a fantastic year, got injured in Game 1 and was out until game 4. I want to congratulate the Pisstons on a great season, and hopefully we get to see them again sometime and extract some revenge.”
“NOW, onto this year, S70, I did everything I could to make sure we got the same pieces of our team back and had to dish out some funds in the process. I was really happy with Kofi’s move to PG after Amen left us high and dry last season, GET F@^&ED YOU P*&$^ @$$ B*(%&…..AHEM, excuse me. We made sure to exercise our RFA rights on him and then we turned around and offered a lucrative contract to Joseph Ford, who was one of the best 6th men in the league last year. I made a trade to get rid of some lower contracts and take on Chris Markham, who will add depth to the C/PF position, which is what we were sorely lacking last season.”
“As we move into training camp I’m putting an emphasis on conditioning and hoping we can get everyone fit and ready to make another deep run into the playoffs, but this time achieving the ultimate goal of being Champions.”
“I will now open the floor to questions..”