Bulls S68 Press Conference

[garbageman]

We're somewhere in the late 2050s, and Garbageman looks old as hell. His suit's all disheveled and ill fitting because they don't make suits for guys who look 200 years old and have extra corners for all the bones jutting out and weird humps that old people have. Ten rings loosely clank around on his fingers, which grow ever skinnier, and he shuffles up to the podium with a forlorn look in his cloudy eyes.

He coughs and taps on the gooseneck microphone to ensure its on before he cranes his neck so that his raspy voice can form words that get picked up on the loudspeaker.

"Somebody, please...kill me."

phpBB [video]

The mic gets cut, and Garbageman's lips are still moving, but Kool & The Gang's "Celebration" is just blaring loudly. Out comes Bulls owner Roman Roy with two burly security guards. Roman points towards the podium and the guards wrangle the almost senile GM and escort him to the side. GMan looks confused at what's going on, but ultimately acquiesces.

Roman Roy's got a headset mic on, and as Garbageman is ushered out of the spotlight, the music's volume fades a little bit.

"Never mind that, everyone. We just got to put him back in his cage and feed him some prunes, and he'll be back to plotting how to bring more banners to the United Center's rafters. He's just a little cranky."

Kool & The Gang wraps up and the owner of the Chicago Bulls paces in front of the podium. The two large men are giving Gman a talking to and it looks like he's calming down and accepting that he'll probably have to pull himself together before the Q&A portion of this thing.

"Anyway, I wasn't going to come to this thing again so soon, but it looks like we won the championship again, so I figured I'd poke my head in and say good job to all the staff and players who made this possible. Most of you are still on the team, so there's not a whole lot new to talk about. Just keep slamming that rock or whatever, and we'll win 10 more championships for Father Time's toes over there in case you ever want to see a corpselike husk forced to wear sandals because of all his basketball success."

The security guards start walking Gman back to the podium, one on either side of him, so he can't get away or plead for the sweet release of death.

"All that being said, I'm gonna peace out, so it's time for ask the husk!"

[AngryBanana]

Chet Youbetcha, Dimmadome News: I am not sure if this is for Roy or GMAN, but how many championships do you plan to have by the year 3000, and how does that change based on your recent strategy of having your big time players on short term deals?

[Jedihero]

Skeeter Valentine, Junior Writer, Bluffington Post, Sim Sports Division:

Last season came down to the wire in a game 7 against the Nuggets, but then a steamroll in the Championship. Do you expect to have more competition this season, or will it be an easy walk back to the ship for another ring?

[garbageman]

Chet Youbetcha, Dimmadome News: I am not sure if this is for Roy or GMAN, but how many championships do you plan to have by the year 3000, and how does that change based on your recent strategy of having your big time players on short term deals?

Thanks for the question. I'm not planning on having any more championships, and at 6 seasons an actual year, we'd all be dead in real life by the PBSL year 3000, since that would be 157 actual years away.

As for big time players on short term deals, I don't know where you're getting that. Mac McClung is on a 5 year supermax, and Remy Martin is on year 2 of a four year max. They are my big time players.

[garbageman]

Skeeter Valentine, Junior Writer, Bluffington Post, Sim Sports Division:

Last season came down to the wire in a game 7 against the Nuggets, but then a steamroll in the Championship. Do you expect to have more competition this season, or will it be an easy walk back to the ship for another ring?

In the playoffs it comes down to matchups, and I felt like the Rockets were a team I had answers for more than the three teams from the Alpha Conference I faced to get there. The Alpha Conference right now is the stronger of the two conferences, and it definitely won't be an easy walk back. Like last season, there are teams that I consider stronger than us, and it'll take a good measure of luck to make it deep in the playoffs.

[Black Superman]

Desert here....
Simple question, are you going back to back?

[garbageman]

Desert here....
Simple question, are you going back to back?

Hell yeah

[Xist2Inspire]

Random Reporter: Despite the fact that you're still a clear contender, this is a roster in flux, with massive gaps between young and old. Unlike previous Bulls eras, which were usually driven by high-end older talent combined with a roster of players in their prime, this roster heavily skews old, but is driven by high-end talent in their prime. How has this impacted your approach to teambuilding and planning?

[garbageman]

Random Reporter: Despite the fact that you're still a clear contender, this is a roster in flux, with massive gaps between young and old. Unlike previous Bulls eras, which were usually driven by high-end older talent combined with a roster of players in their prime, this roster heavily skews old, but is driven by high-end talent in their prime. How has this impacted your approach to teambuilding and planning?

Thanks for the question. It really hasn't impacted my approach. This is largely the same team that won the championship last year. We believe Mac and Remy are both top ten players in the league, and guys like AB, Alleman, and Dirks might not be the same players they were in their primes, but I think we proved last year that they don't need to be.

While we would've liked to add another impact player over the offseason, we had many talks, but none that got too far. We'll be continuing to talk to teams during the regular season and hope that something comes up that will either solidify our roster and give us a nice push or will give us a path to sneak under the apron while still remaining a strong playoff squad behind Mac and Remy.

[Mike Lowry]

Screw the softballs;
Everybody saw you take a pretty high road in the midst of the owner's meeting melee,
What was the single most frustrating point of tension?
Which comment or action did you think was absolutely uncalled for?
Who did you think was on some bullshit?
Was this a Bubble Title?
Are the rings made of real gold?

[garbageman]

Screw the softballs;
Everybody saw you take a pretty high road in the midst of the owner's meeting melee,
What was the single most frustrating point of tension?
Which comment or action did you think was absolutely uncalled for?
Who did you think was on some bullshit?
Was this a Bubble Title?
Are the rings made of real gold?

Thanks for the tough question. I'm not sure I took that high a road. I shouldn't have left the league chat, but if I stayed in there, I might've gone off on a person or two and not regained the composure or willingness to keep commissioning. Still, leaving the league chat was unnecessary.

I don't think anyone currently in the league was on some bullshit, so I don't think it's worth calling the same person out.

I will just say that it's a lot of work to keep this place running. If you want to be here and you want to participate, you're helping to make keeping PBSL going worthwhile. All I ask is that you familiarize yourself with how things work and try to follow the rules to the best of your ability. The rules are in place to make commissioning work more efficient and convenient. If you don't like a rule, put in the work to come up with an alternate rule and put it up for discussion in the suggestion box. If you're a sore loser, this might not be the game for you. If putting in DCs and participating in most of the aspects of the game isn't fun for you, maybe you shouldn't be here.

[RPF]

Brooklyn Gazette: With this last championship run, do you see yourself on the Mount Rushmore of the league?

[garbageman]

Brooklyn Gazette: With this last championship run, do you see yourself on the Mount Rushmore of the league?

I've got ten rings. If I'm not on the Mount Rushmore of the league already, then you can take everyone that's on the Mount Rushmore and shape them together Megazord style, and that would be me.