#SLOE: People's Basketball Sim League

Welcome back to the Chase Center for another season of simulated basketball! Let’s get right to it.

We had a pretty worthless season in terms of wins and losses. We traded away our pick, so the draft was very boring. I think the actual play we have this season will also be very boring.

But our future is full of options.

Like Vince McMahon, we love our big men here in San Francisco. We got our burly Claxton, our bruising Breanna, our poopy Coopy… Hell, we love them all. We don’t really want to trade any of them, but we will once we have to.

As excited as we were to pick up poopy Coopy last season, we were very disappointed with his training camp. We told him to focus on developing his point skills, and he did just that...as an afterthought! We love a player with an identity crisis - we still love and miss you Fabian - but if you’re not going to fill your own gaping holes, then why should I do it for you? You know what I mean?

Anyway, we’ll hang on to Coop for a while. Probably. Unless he pisses me off again because he wants to be an averagely good center.

On the other hand we have the burly Clax and bruising Breanna. We don’t have any issue with what they’re trying to become, and they seem to have no troubles trending that way independently. We’re going to let them keep percolating and not meddle too much with it.

Kevin Cross is my favorite B player. He’s not an A. He never will be. But we love him and plan to keep him once his contract expires.

Dwain is an asshole.

We never thought we’d say this but we’re actually quite pleased with the acquisition of Jerry Krause. Keep on rockin’, Jerry.

And that’s…about it. Right? I’m not forgetting anything, am I?

Am I?

That’s RIGHT! Owen Blakeslee. He’s back, everyone. He can be had if you want him, but he’s back. There, now I remembered everything.

Go ahead and ask questions if you want, but I know I already answered them, because I talked about literally EVERYTHING I could talk about my team.

Go ahead. Ask anything. I’ll even take questions about Bryon Nelson and his great overlooked career and stellar contract he signed to come back to Golden State.

So ask away. I’ll answer anything. Even though I clearly forgot nothing.

Skeeter Valentine, Junior Writer, Bluffington Post, Sim Sports Division.

I notice you have a young team, would you say this is another rebuilding year for the Warriors, or are you trying to make a playoff push?


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Random Reporter: Could you give us some insight into the Harper Jr. acquisition? He's certainly talented, but is a bit of an odd fit on this partial roster.

It's pretty obvious that this is a long build with plenty of fruit, but last time you had a roster that looked like this you flipped for Morelock and claimed back to back ships.
The division might be weaker than it has ever been since the re-alignment, so how much more patience can we expect before you dive into the fray?
And more importantly which point guard are you looking to make your run with?

Jedihero wrote: Sat Jan 27, 2024 5:56 pm Skeeter Valentine, Junior Writer, Bluffington Post, Sim Sports Division.

I notice you have a young team, would you say this is another rebuilding year for the Warriors, or are you trying to make a playoff push?


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I'll playoff push deez nuts right down a playoff team's throat. Does that answer your question?

Or, yes, we're rebuilding, and no, we don't have a playoff prayer

Xist2Inspire wrote: Sat Jan 27, 2024 6:01 pm Random Reporter: Could you give us some insight into the Harper Jr. acquisition? He's certainly talented, but is a bit of an odd fit on this partial roster.

We took swings at the heaviest hitters in free agency. We've always loved Ron Harper Jr., but we view his signing as more of a rental than anything. We'd like to push him out the door for assets as soon as possible and keep building our little blue pot. collection

Mike Lowry wrote: Sat Jan 27, 2024 9:18 pm It's pretty obvious that this is a long build with plenty of fruit, but last time you had a roster that looked like this you flipped for Morelock and claimed back to back ships.
The division might be weaker than it has ever been since the re-alignment, so how much more patience can we expect before you dive into the fray?
And more importantly which point guard are you looking to make your run with?

Because we Frankenstein'd Fabian Hub and found success there, we thought we would do the same to Cooper Flagg. At least his QKN, so we could make him our point guard. Then this guy didn't really feel like training to be a point guard so now we're all very, very upset. I might never forgive him.

Have we considered flipping these assets yet? Nope. Not yet. We're still in a collecting phase. Ron Harper Jr. was a nice pickup in free agency, but we don't have the cap space to trade other assets and build up around Ron. Maybe next year?

Talk about Kevin Cross a little bit more. Though preseason showed a dip in his scoring from last season, he has continued to show that he's a player that may be greater than the sum of his parts, producing higher than expected. What it is about him specifically do you like? And what are the reasons for his early success?

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MexicanMamba wrote: Sun Jan 28, 2024 8:50 am Talk about Kevin Cross a little bit more. Though preseason showed a dip in his scoring from last season, he has continued to show that he's a player that may be greater than the sum of his parts, producing higher than expected. What it is about him specifically do you like? And what are the reasons for his early success?

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I like Kevin Cross a lot. Really, his size, athleticism, and well-roundedness. He's not great anywhere, but decent to solid pretty much everywhere. In the Frankensteinization of my ex-husband Fabian Hub, I saw similar potential in Kevin Cross. I could make him play any position except the 5 with the proper training, and I find that versatility super fun. As far as his preseason dip, that was to be expected. He's playing with Ron Harper Jr. and new blue pot. Bryon Nelson put up blue current numbers as well (98 INS never hurt nobody). So, with him approaching RFA, I don't mind the dip. Hopefully it indicates he will not get poison pilled.

Ron Harper Jr. struggled to acclimate both in Boston and Atlanta last season so how do you think your team will be able to adjust to him on the roster?

You just won it all 4&5 seasons ago. How long do you anticipate your rebuild taking before you're competing again?

What part of your roster do you most want to improve on this season?

Sham Smith, Bulls.com: What are your expectations for Bryon Nelson on this team, both for this season and his role in future seasons if he is, in fact, part of the long term plan?

Sham Smith, Bulls.com: What are your expectations for Bryon Nelson on this team, both for this season and his role in future seasons if he is, in fact, part of the long term plan?

Chet Youbetcha, Dimmadome News: what are the chances that the suns GM complains about your town hall question ability and timelines?


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K-100 wrote: Sun Jan 28, 2024 12:21 pm Ron Harper Jr. struggled to acclimate both in Boston and Atlanta last season so how do you think your team will be able to adjust to him on the roster?

I have personally already milked his life blood down my throat so many times that I drowned, so he's playing great so far

hi doug @IamQuailman

Black Superman wrote: Sun Jan 28, 2024 5:42 pm You just won it all 4&5 seasons ago. How long do you anticipate your rebuild taking before you're competing again?

Great question. I don't know if I'm going to cash in assets or slow build. I could go either way, but right now I'm continuing to percolate. I think it depends on what kinds of opportunities present themselves. For example, if the Bulls are suddenly like, I'm bored with this build, McClung is on the block, then I'm totally looking to cash in.

pennpanther1 wrote: Sun Jan 28, 2024 8:03 pm What part of your roster do you most want to improve on this season?

I have like 18 big guys so maybe someone under 6'9"? I dont know, that sounded crazy typing it out, maybe I will build a roster exclusively larger than 6'9" in which case I have some work to do (looking at you Chris Adamson, you bum)

garbageman wrote: Sun Jan 28, 2024 10:25 pm Sham Smith, Bulls.com: What are your expectations for Bryon Nelson on this team, both for this season and his role in future seasons if he is, in fact, part of the long term plan?

I acquired Bryon Nelson in a Wizards trade a couple seasons ago. He totally outperformed my expectations. I fully expected him to get no attention in FA the following season, but the Hawks were 'the better team,' so I lost him in UFA. For whatever reason his productivity has always exceeded his appearance, so I wasn't going to let him walk again. I had to sign him to a multi-year deal.

Will I keep him? I don't know. I think if someone wants to pay me for him, then he'll walk, but he's been sneaky good for a while, and now that his contract is locked in, I will make sure he gets his shine.

AngryBanana wrote: Mon Jan 29, 2024 7:22 am Chet Youbetcha, Dimmadome News: what are the chances that the suns GM complains about your town hall question ability and timelines?


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I already spoke with him. We're friends. So bite my nerts, breh