#SLOE: People's Basketball Sim League

Wilbon: Pardon the Interruption but I’m Mike Wilbon. We’re a little less than a third into the PBSL season and we’ve already seen some big names go down. Chris Webber, Jalen Rose, Nick Van Exel…think you can get through this episode without a serious injury, Tony?
Kornheiser: I’m Tony Kornheiser, and I think I’ll be okay. I stretched for a whole four seconds before the show and I’m feeling pretty limber. In today’s episode we’re going to talk about the Hawks and Raptors, we’re going to look at how the Lakers have done with a new GM, and we’re going to spend Five Good Minutes with Milwaukee Bucks GM Ian Quailmen. But first let’s hit the headlines.
Wilbon: After playing 24 games each, the Hawks are once again on top of the league, but this time they’re not alone. The Raptors share the same 21-3 record as the Hawks, and even own the tiebreaker right now because they won their only matchup so far. So how about it Tony? Are you ready to accept these birds of prey as your new PBSL overlords?

Kornheiser: I’ll stick to the feathered kind, thanks. Look, the Raptors are a nice team. I love Finley, love Brand, and Billups is looking very good after his injury. But I’m not going to give up on the two-time champs. As long as Penny is there, and as long as big Ben Wallace is patrolling the paint, give me the Hawks to obliterate the competition.

Wilbon: I’d normally agree but the Raptors are better than they ever have been. With frontcourt rotation of Gugs, Brand, Ratliff and the surprising Gary Trent – putting up career numbers, Tone – the Raptors have the tanks to fight with anyone.

Kornheiser: Career numbers of 7.5 and 3.5, color me impressed. Hawks are going to threepeat and do it handily. Handily! Next headline.
Kornheiser: Next we’re gonna talk about your team, Wilbon. Your boys! The Chicago Bulls have rolled into this season with only 8 men on their active roster. Somehow they’re over the cap because two of those players are max guys in Kobe Bryant and Tim Thomas. They’re sitting at 13-10, which is good but not quite where we’d expect a team of their talent to be. So what do you say, Wilbon, what’s going on with your boys?

Wilbon: They’re tired, Tony. They’re tired and they have every reason to be. For some reason the GM PrepP hasn’t given these guys the rest they deserve. They’re playing their hearts out, especially Kobe and Timmy, who are posting career efficiency numbers. But they need help. Bryant Reeves shouldn’t be playing 20 minutes a game at this point in his career. Brad Miller is playing almost FORTY MINUTES A GAME, TONY! These guys need air mattresses in their locker room. They’re tired!

Kornheiser: It wouldn’t take much. There are a couple of guys without teams who could come in and play 5-10 minutes. Shawnelle Scott, Matt Geiger, Jerome Allen. They’re not world beaters, but they’re bodies. The Bulls would be a lot better if they weren’t relying on the same 8 guys every night. What happens when Kobe or Stephen Jackson goes down?

Wilbon: The Bulls wave the white flag, that’s what. No chance if someone gets injured. No chance. Last one.
Wilbon: There’s a big problem in the PBSL right now, and it has to do with tanking. We know thanks to draft experts like Chad Ford that this may be one of the best drafts in history when it comes to franchise-changing talent. And the teams are going crazy trying to make themselves worse this year. The Nuggets, Wolves, and Hornets are the most egregious offenders, but there’s a handful of other teams that are definitely not trying to win games. What do you think, Tony, is this tactic smart or shady?

Kornheiser: I’d like both, please. Can’t it be both? If you think that a player like LeBron James or Carmelo Anthony is going to turn your team around, then you have to do it. There are some teams that are just better at doing it than others. Teams like the Wolves and Hornets at least have young guys who they’re giving minutes to for experience. When you look at the Nuggets, what do you see?

Wilbon: A big bowl of NOTHIN’.

Kornheiser: Exactly. I look at Tayshaun Prince or Zach Randolph and see them as possible all stars one day. What about Denver? Who’s going to be a star there? Smush Parker?

Wilbon: No way. And that’s why I think tanking is a problem. The Nets GM RPF is on record against tanking, and I’m with him entirely. It’s disgusting and should be punished!

Kornheiser: The Nets are just mad that they’re bad at tanking. What else are you going to do, overpay a bunch of old stars and try to get a 6th seed? It makes sense.

Wilbon: It’s dumb and so are you. All right, after the break we’re going to spend Five Good Minutes with Bucks GM Ian Quailmen to ask him about his young talent, and if he thinks Amare could be better than Shaq.

Kornheiser: I’ll answer that one for you, NO.

Kornheiser: Welcome back to PTI, boys and girls, and we’re joined right now by Ian Quailmen. How you doing, Ian?
Quailmen: Doing great, guys. Pleasure to be here.

Kornheiser: Ian, After taking his team to the Finals a few years back, the Bucks are in rebuild mode as they try to develop young talent. And that’s where I want to start, Ian. We just had an argument before the break – one that I won, by the way – about tanking. Do you think what you’re doing is tanking, and do you think there’s a problem with it?

Quailmen: That term - tanking - it has such a negative connotation. However, sometimes the best way to build a building is to tear it down and build from scratch. Patch jobs and half-ass repairs may fix the short term, but over the long haul, that building's value is not going up. And that's what we are doing in Milwaukee. With Jalen and Shaq, we went all in, and with that roster and the assets that we had, we peaked. Some people call it cowardice for us to move on and defer to the Hawks instead of pushing them for the central crown. But we felt we could've kept Shaq and Jalen in tact, but we would have no room to build a legitimate contending roster around them. So instead of patch jobs, we maximized our value and decided to get younger. And if you ask me, it's paid off so far. This season is about growth and team-building. We are letting our young players grow together, and while the results are far from desirable in the Win-Loss columns, we are happy with our core and their progression together. It's a shame that Manu was hit with that injury.

As for tanking being a problem for the league, it may be a short term problem, but honestly, the league will always have teams that are, for political correctness's sake, not so good. And for those teams, things just have to get worse before it gets better. Then there are teams who just drift in their roster's talent (or lackthereof) and want to be worse but just can't get there. With these teams that are not so good now, Im going on a limb to predict that things will change within the next couple of seasons.

Wilbon: Before we continue I just want to say Tony didn’t win anything, unless we were having a contest for worst facial hair. Ian, you’ve gotten a few nice young pieces right now, with Ron Artest and Manu Ginobli, who was looking pretty promising before his concussion issues. But the really intriguing player to me is Amare Stoudemire. He’s putting up 13 and 6 with nearly .500 from the floor as a rookie. He looks really special. What do you see as his ceiling?

Quailmen: We love what we are seeing out of Amare. It really was a tough decision between Amare and Yao, and Yao is playing at a great level right now. But with Amare, we see his ceiling being a slightly worse rebounding Karl Malone and Elton Brand. Call me a homer all you want, but his athleticism and skillset will dominate the league for years to come if he continues to develop the way we hope he does.

Kornheiser: It’s been seen as the Hawks league for a few years now. Looking across at the West, what teams if any do you see as capable of stopping the Hawks' reign of terror?

Quailmen: The West is a grindhouse right now. The Lakers, despite the organizational changes, still sit on top the conference right now; although, without Kidd for 15 days, they may struggle some and potentially slide down the Pacific rankings. The Sonics are playing great with their Monstars up front. The Mavericks are surging behind the career year effort of Marcus Camby and Antawn Jamison. The Kings, after a slow start, are really picking up the slack and making a run. Same can be said for the Trailblazers who started off slow but were on fire once December started... and NOW they've acquire Gary Payton, giving them the facilitator on offense that they've been sorely lacking and needing (no knock on Bobby Jackson there). It's going to be a blood bath to the top of the West, and I haven't even talked about the Spurs who are struggling due to Glenn Robinson's injury. I fully expect them back in the thick of things soon enough. The Clippers are fighting and clawing their way to a surprise start to the season and, with the return of Nick Van Exel in January, could look to make some more noise. And the Grizzlies are finally hitting that potential that they've shown for years.

But who can challenge the Hawks? Honestly, I think the Hawks are the most vunerable as we've ever seen them. They were forced to move Sprewell for cap reasons and really got a dud in Rider, who they just dumped on the Magic for one of their prize young players - Eddy Curry. Their wings are looking spotty, despite having Dermarr learning and growing. So I think they can definitely be had. I see the Kings as a team that could really cause them trouble, as well as the Sonics and Lakers. But will one of those teams make it that far? Not if the rest of the juggernauts in the west have something to say about it

Wilbon: Great insight. It’s good to talk to a GM who pays attention to the league. I work with a guy in media who doesn’t even pay that much attention.

Kornheiser: Don’t blame me, the games are on too late at night.

Wilbon: Last question: do you still talk to Shaq? You guys had a really good relationship for the years he was there. Do you ever just send him a text telling him you miss him, that you’re thinking of him?

Quailmen: Aw, Shaq. Yeah, we miss the big guy. We don't text him as much as we text Jalen, but he gets a few messages from me wishing him luck over in Portland. I can't say much more about those texts with him or Jalen (especially Jalen) without getting dinged for tampering... so I'm going to have to just leave it there.

Kornheiser: I bet Shaq misses Milwaukee’s Best.

Wilbon: Tony, we’re gonna get fined.

Kornheiser: Let em fine me, it’s a good beer. Thanks for your time, Ian. This was fun, we’ll talk soon.

Quailmen: Thanks for having me, guys.

Wilbon: Okay, we’ll be back for Roleplay and then the big finish.

Wilbon: Welcome back to the show, and we’re going to start off with roleplay. Tony, who am I?
Kornheiser: You’re new Lakers GM, former Suns GM, Inner GI. Your new team is killing the West and Kevin Garnett looks like the MVP despite an awful training camp. There are rumblings that you’re just babysitting and don’t deserve the credit. Do you agree?

Wilbon: Of course I agree! But only to a point. Yeah, I was given this team on a silver platter, but we’ve had injuries. And Garnett has never looked as good as he looks now. The pot of food looks great, but somebody’s got to stir it.

Kornheiser: Okay, now I’m hungry. Who am I?
Wilbon: You’re PBSL living legend Shawn Kemp. You are spending your first year in rainy Seattle, and you’re putting up a pedestrian-for-you 23 and 9.5 statline. The Sonics are good, but there are a lot of other good teams out there. You’re 33. Do you win your third ring before you retire?

Kornheiser: What are you nuts? I guarantee another title. We have two-time champion Alonzo Mourning. Champion Donyell Marshall. A great point guard in Robot Pack. We’re the topheaviest team in the league, and in the playoffs, that’s going to help us. Because our GM and coach is one of the best in the league. So yeah, I’m going to have another title, and cement myself as the best player who ever lived.

Wilbon: Cocky answer, Shawn. I like it. Last one. Who am I?
Kornheiser: Michael, you’re Tim Duncan of the Utah Jazz. Two time MVP. But your team is 11-12. You have you, Jermaine O’Neal, Keith Van Horn, and one of the best young wings in Bonzi Wells. What is happening in Utah?

Wilbon: I don’t know, but I know it isn’t my fault. I’m putting up another MVP type season. Ask my teammates, who are putting up 15 ppg and less. Ask my coach, who has had all the talent in the world but has never been able to put it together. But don’t ask me. I’m doing fine.

Kornheiser: Renowned for his ego, that Tim Duncan. All right, Wilbon, let’s get ready, it’s time for the big finish.
Kornheiser: Chris Webber, broken leg, 82 days for Houston. Buyers remorse?

Wilbon: You better believe it, I bet they really wish JRich were still in town to score. 76ers are six games above .500, Tone – think it’ll last?

Kornheiser: Sure, why not, that division is the pits, my rec league went .500 in the Atlantic last year. Mavericks are killing it in the Midwest, is it finally time to give their GM credit for a job well done?

Wilbon: It almost makes up for trading away one of the best players in history. Almost, but not quite. Pistons winning more games than losing for the first time in years, are you surprised?

Kornheiser: Surprised? I didn’t even know there was a team in Detroit!

*BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT*

Kornheiser: All right, we’re out of time. Try to do better next time.

Wilbon: See you next time, knuckleheads. Don’t forget to subscribe to the PTI Podcast on iTunes.

Woman (whispering): PTI...

This was awesome dude. Felt like I was actually watching the show when reading... the back and forth between the two was on point!

Thanks for letting me help and contribute too

IamQuailman wrote:This was awesome dude. Felt like I was actually watching the show when reading... the back and forth between the two was on point!

Thanks for letting me help and contribute too

Thanks! And thank you for being a part of it, it was fun to do.

Awesome job!

Love it! Could use a little more Reggie Evans talk though

Pretty sure that scientists recently discovered that raptors had feathers.


Yeah. Science BITCH!

So great. Just like the show.

Fun

This was really good, except for the Rockets having Webber remorse.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

The point where I had to order brakes to keep my eyes from rolling too fast " the term tanking it has such a negative connotation".


Good article raby !

Wilbon: Time to find out what we missed. Reali?
Reali: Two things: recently scientists have proven that raptors in fact may have had feathers...

Kornheiser: SCIENCE!

Reali: And you said Jerome Allen didn't have a team and you were wrong, the Cavs picked him up over the weekend.

Kornheiser: Doesn't count, it's Cleveland.

Wilbon: Til next time, knuckleheads.

Good shit JNR, better than the T'wolves thats for sure lol

ballsohard wrote:The point where I had to order brakes to keep my eyes from rolling too fast " the term tanking it has such a negative connotation".


Good article raby !

RPF wrote:Good shit JNR, better than the T'wolves thats for sure lol

AWARDED 5 POINTS (JNR)! THANKS FOR YOUR CONTRIBUTION!

AWARDED 2 POINTS (QUAIL)! THANKS FOR YOUR CONTRIBUTION!