60 seasons of SLOE: End of an Era?
Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2022 1:30 pm
Much to my chagrin, there has been a loud calling for the league to end following the Pistons remarkable 4-peat championship reign - one presumed to end now that Gerry Folse has entered free agency, and will not be retained by the Pistons due to luxury taxes left unpaid.
To me, it feels like the league can start again. To a number of vets - some of whom have been playing for 60 seasons, closing in on 10 real years - it’s spelling an end of days. While it feels unconscionable to me, as an active GM still in pursuit of his first ‘ship, I think I understand how others would have burnt out. Let’s take a look first at the GMs who have officially retired, those who are actively discussing retirement, and those who are hanging on by a thread (or arguably gone already).
False9, Orlando Magic
Career Record
1844-1354
Since S21 2011-2012
League Champion in 2018, 2029, and 2030
PBSL GM of the Year 2018, 2025, 2041, 2045, 2049
False9 has been done for a long time. Best years behind him - one of the first GMs to truly threaten the league for its first ever 3-peat - false9 has seen the league more as a chore than as a pleasure. With an irish goodbye, he’d rather not discuss it, and let his formerly magical Magic go into the hands of a new, young and hungry GM.
…or so he thought. The departure of false9 started a slew of departures and discussion of shutting the whole league down.
IamQuailman, Milwaukee Bucks
Career Record
2744-2176
Since S1 1990-1991
League Champion in 2008, 2021, and 2027
PBSL GM of the Year 2046
This is not the first time Quail has feigned quitting the league. Known for flipping a zero team into a hero team, that is exactly what he did in S60, and it just did not go his way. This zero to hero flip with a loss has not uncommonly sparked the talk of resignation for Quail, but this time it will stick. I do not hear frustration or in-the-moment emotion following his 6 game loss to the Pistons (after a very tough and hard fought conference finals against the Lakers), but I do hear confidence in his decision.
Quail has made a huge impact on the league as the “Slime King,” the most infamous GM to move on an inexperienced or naive GM for the best player and, in return, sending somewhat shiny pennies (maybe spit / slime cleaned). Many a meme has been made in his honor or from his filthy slime. Anyone who had engaged Quail over is 60 season tenure - which is certainly everyone who had an all-star caliber player - had a very lively trade talk. I couldn’t help but trade with the guy. He was tenacious. He pissed me off. He made me chuckle. He shamelessly explored his own vulnerability in defeat (and in a trade that ultimately failed).
But he’s really sailing off into the sunset this time, and the league is worse for it. We can all only hope he wants to come back.
BallSoHard, Detroit Pistons
Career Record
2537-1809
1990 -1991 thru 2001 - 2002 (Warriors)
2004 - 2005 thru 2028 - 2029 (Grizzlies)
2033 - 2034 thru 2048 - present (Pistons)
League Champion 1992, 1999, 2004, 2010, 2046, 2047, 2048, 2048
PBSL GM of the Year 1991
Winner of the league’s first ever 4-peat championship, what else does Balls have to accomplish? We were all impressed with his 3-peat and especially with his 4-peat. Annoyed, even. In his four year run, no one ever beat him more than twice in the finals, with Mamba’s Lakers and Quail’s 3-purp Bucks claiming a couple games apiece (honorable mention to 78’s Rockets who surprisingly took the Pistons to Game 7 in the semis).
My career as a GM is too young to recount Balls’s first two stints as a GM, but in his third and potentially final run, I saw the method to his madness: build an incredibly strong team, tax man be damned, and when it’s over, it’s over. The first time he did this with the Pistons, it blew up in his face. His third season back in 2036, he went all in on massive contracts for Luka Doncic, Dominick Cobb, Ernest Long, and Elisha Davis, only to peter out in the Conference Finals. $100m plus over the cap that year and a 2-yr repeater, Balls blew the team up and returned to obscurity until his tax was paid and a new build was underway, leading to his 4-peat.
Even without his 4-yr Finals MVP Gerry Folse, next year’s Pistons will make a playoff run. Even without Balls himself.
The JNR, Minnesota Timberwolves
Career Record
2600-2320
Since S1 1990 - 1991
League Champion 2022
PBSL GM of the Year 1998, 2012
The JNR has been mostly tapped out for several seasons now. Thus far unwilling to let his team go to waste, for a long time he has otherwise expressed willingness to hand his team over to any interested warm body. His last complete build included Mitchell Robinson, OG Anunoby, Dennis Wolfgang and Odell Raspberry, all of whom did great things with other teams - just not enough in Minnesota. Life happened. Asinine (to him) renames happened. The league reboot never happened.
So The JNR laid in wait for _something_ to happen, and that something became Xue Huo and Lenz Durrenberger, but even these two have not been enough to get The JNR reengaged. If future MVP Xue Huo cannot do it, I cannot hold out hope for JNR’s future. Whenever JNR does go, it will be sad to see an OG (Anunoby) GM leave.
Also, I miss the Horns and Fangs pod. It really made me feel Sim League Over Everything vibes, even when after an hour or so, The JNR would be quick to say “enough sim league, lets get to non sim league questions.”
Garbageman, Chicago Bulls
Career Record
2047-1195
Since S20 2010 - 2011
League Champion 2020, 2031, 2035, 2038, 2039, 2041, 2044, 2045
PBSL GM of the Year 2016, 2028, 2029, 2037
This one hurts. Garbageman brought me here, taught me well, and has hit a roadblock in his future in the PBSL. With more ‘ships than any other GM (prior to Balls 4 yr run), regular contributor to all things media (pods - so many pods, articles, excellent training camp breakdowns, top tier memes, questions for GMs on every single preseason presser), and one of the longer (longest?) reigns as the league’s commissioner (still contributing to commish duties when necessary, and often), it would seem gman’s burnout has entered the chat. Given his activity, it makes sense. Garbageman is one of the primary reasons this league has breathed over the last few league decades, and I can’t imagine a PBSL without him.
Back when the Pistons traded Kai Jones to the Knicks for Douglas Haun and picks, garbageman believed the end was nigh. He wrote as much. It extended a dominance the league had never seen, and with so many losing seasons for everyone outside of Detroit, there was not much reason to try. Like a few other GMs, though, garbageman smelled blood in the water in Detroit once Gerry Folse could not get the Kai Jones trade treatment. It was the right time to make sure they did not win 4 in a row. In addition to gman, Quail and Mamba felt the same way (to name a few), pushing all their chips into the pot to take down Detroit, but the league was cruel. Not only did gman’s Bulls miss the conference finals, but no one else succeeded. Balls’s Pistons had done the unthinkable, won four in a row, setting an insurmountable bar for other GMs to attain - a 4peat.
Prior to this, Gman made a decision to win more championships than anyone else, and he achieved that goal. With eight, no one else had won that many, not even Balls, until Balls won 4 straight. What else can he do, but play the buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-basketball on repeat for however many more decades (instead of 10 minutes that won him meme of the year seasons ago)? The most championships ever could be done again, but with a team built to do just that this year and losing, gman seems a bit tapped out.
MexicanMamba, Los Angele Lakers
Career Record
1150-654
Since 2028 - 2029
League Champion 2034
“The Commish”
Whereas garbageman’s calls to close the league hurt, Mexicanmamba’s intimations that it could actually come to an end have sounded the alarm. The league commissioner must do so much to keep a league going, but when the calls to close are louder than the calls to keep the league moving? That much work done all the time, every week, for people who don’t mind the league going up in smoke, make it hard to stay motivated. If Mamba wasn’t raising his young buck Safi to become one of the all time great players of the league, Mamba too would probably be spent.
So play those horns of Nina Simone’s “Feeling Good” loudly, please! For everyone to hear! May Safi’s future remain bright and free from the curses wrought by the TC gods!
___
That's to name a few of the more vocal voices over the last week, anyways. All things considered, a few of these GMs leaving would be fine. People burn out. Losing time and again after trying so hard is absolutely demoralizing. Conversely, winning so much and actively doing so little to keep winning can’t feel like too much fun after a while either.
But if all of these GMs come together to say goodbye, on top of a failing simputer that could render this problem completely moot, I am afraid for PBSL’s future. I spent an embarrassing amount of time learning how to sim league, and for all of that knowledge to become completely useless? Without winning a championship? (I mean, it's all arguably useless anyway but...) It would definitely suck, and I am not ready to let PBSL go.
To me, it feels like the league can start again. To a number of vets - some of whom have been playing for 60 seasons, closing in on 10 real years - it’s spelling an end of days. While it feels unconscionable to me, as an active GM still in pursuit of his first ‘ship, I think I understand how others would have burnt out. Let’s take a look first at the GMs who have officially retired, those who are actively discussing retirement, and those who are hanging on by a thread (or arguably gone already).
False9, Orlando Magic
Career Record
1844-1354
Since S21 2011-2012
League Champion in 2018, 2029, and 2030
PBSL GM of the Year 2018, 2025, 2041, 2045, 2049
False9 has been done for a long time. Best years behind him - one of the first GMs to truly threaten the league for its first ever 3-peat - false9 has seen the league more as a chore than as a pleasure. With an irish goodbye, he’d rather not discuss it, and let his formerly magical Magic go into the hands of a new, young and hungry GM.
…or so he thought. The departure of false9 started a slew of departures and discussion of shutting the whole league down.
IamQuailman, Milwaukee Bucks
Career Record
2744-2176
Since S1 1990-1991
League Champion in 2008, 2021, and 2027
PBSL GM of the Year 2046
This is not the first time Quail has feigned quitting the league. Known for flipping a zero team into a hero team, that is exactly what he did in S60, and it just did not go his way. This zero to hero flip with a loss has not uncommonly sparked the talk of resignation for Quail, but this time it will stick. I do not hear frustration or in-the-moment emotion following his 6 game loss to the Pistons (after a very tough and hard fought conference finals against the Lakers), but I do hear confidence in his decision.
Quail has made a huge impact on the league as the “Slime King,” the most infamous GM to move on an inexperienced or naive GM for the best player and, in return, sending somewhat shiny pennies (maybe spit / slime cleaned). Many a meme has been made in his honor or from his filthy slime. Anyone who had engaged Quail over is 60 season tenure - which is certainly everyone who had an all-star caliber player - had a very lively trade talk. I couldn’t help but trade with the guy. He was tenacious. He pissed me off. He made me chuckle. He shamelessly explored his own vulnerability in defeat (and in a trade that ultimately failed).
But he’s really sailing off into the sunset this time, and the league is worse for it. We can all only hope he wants to come back.
BallSoHard, Detroit Pistons
Career Record
2537-1809
1990 -1991 thru 2001 - 2002 (Warriors)
2004 - 2005 thru 2028 - 2029 (Grizzlies)
2033 - 2034 thru 2048 - present (Pistons)
League Champion 1992, 1999, 2004, 2010, 2046, 2047, 2048, 2048
PBSL GM of the Year 1991
Winner of the league’s first ever 4-peat championship, what else does Balls have to accomplish? We were all impressed with his 3-peat and especially with his 4-peat. Annoyed, even. In his four year run, no one ever beat him more than twice in the finals, with Mamba’s Lakers and Quail’s 3-purp Bucks claiming a couple games apiece (honorable mention to 78’s Rockets who surprisingly took the Pistons to Game 7 in the semis).
My career as a GM is too young to recount Balls’s first two stints as a GM, but in his third and potentially final run, I saw the method to his madness: build an incredibly strong team, tax man be damned, and when it’s over, it’s over. The first time he did this with the Pistons, it blew up in his face. His third season back in 2036, he went all in on massive contracts for Luka Doncic, Dominick Cobb, Ernest Long, and Elisha Davis, only to peter out in the Conference Finals. $100m plus over the cap that year and a 2-yr repeater, Balls blew the team up and returned to obscurity until his tax was paid and a new build was underway, leading to his 4-peat.
Even without his 4-yr Finals MVP Gerry Folse, next year’s Pistons will make a playoff run. Even without Balls himself.
The JNR, Minnesota Timberwolves
Career Record
2600-2320
Since S1 1990 - 1991
League Champion 2022
PBSL GM of the Year 1998, 2012
The JNR has been mostly tapped out for several seasons now. Thus far unwilling to let his team go to waste, for a long time he has otherwise expressed willingness to hand his team over to any interested warm body. His last complete build included Mitchell Robinson, OG Anunoby, Dennis Wolfgang and Odell Raspberry, all of whom did great things with other teams - just not enough in Minnesota. Life happened. Asinine (to him) renames happened. The league reboot never happened.
So The JNR laid in wait for _something_ to happen, and that something became Xue Huo and Lenz Durrenberger, but even these two have not been enough to get The JNR reengaged. If future MVP Xue Huo cannot do it, I cannot hold out hope for JNR’s future. Whenever JNR does go, it will be sad to see an OG (Anunoby) GM leave.
Also, I miss the Horns and Fangs pod. It really made me feel Sim League Over Everything vibes, even when after an hour or so, The JNR would be quick to say “enough sim league, lets get to non sim league questions.”
Garbageman, Chicago Bulls
Career Record
2047-1195
Since S20 2010 - 2011
League Champion 2020, 2031, 2035, 2038, 2039, 2041, 2044, 2045
PBSL GM of the Year 2016, 2028, 2029, 2037
This one hurts. Garbageman brought me here, taught me well, and has hit a roadblock in his future in the PBSL. With more ‘ships than any other GM (prior to Balls 4 yr run), regular contributor to all things media (pods - so many pods, articles, excellent training camp breakdowns, top tier memes, questions for GMs on every single preseason presser), and one of the longer (longest?) reigns as the league’s commissioner (still contributing to commish duties when necessary, and often), it would seem gman’s burnout has entered the chat. Given his activity, it makes sense. Garbageman is one of the primary reasons this league has breathed over the last few league decades, and I can’t imagine a PBSL without him.
Back when the Pistons traded Kai Jones to the Knicks for Douglas Haun and picks, garbageman believed the end was nigh. He wrote as much. It extended a dominance the league had never seen, and with so many losing seasons for everyone outside of Detroit, there was not much reason to try. Like a few other GMs, though, garbageman smelled blood in the water in Detroit once Gerry Folse could not get the Kai Jones trade treatment. It was the right time to make sure they did not win 4 in a row. In addition to gman, Quail and Mamba felt the same way (to name a few), pushing all their chips into the pot to take down Detroit, but the league was cruel. Not only did gman’s Bulls miss the conference finals, but no one else succeeded. Balls’s Pistons had done the unthinkable, won four in a row, setting an insurmountable bar for other GMs to attain - a 4peat.
Prior to this, Gman made a decision to win more championships than anyone else, and he achieved that goal. With eight, no one else had won that many, not even Balls, until Balls won 4 straight. What else can he do, but play the buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-basketball on repeat for however many more decades (instead of 10 minutes that won him meme of the year seasons ago)? The most championships ever could be done again, but with a team built to do just that this year and losing, gman seems a bit tapped out.
MexicanMamba, Los Angele Lakers
Career Record
1150-654
Since 2028 - 2029
League Champion 2034
“The Commish”
Whereas garbageman’s calls to close the league hurt, Mexicanmamba’s intimations that it could actually come to an end have sounded the alarm. The league commissioner must do so much to keep a league going, but when the calls to close are louder than the calls to keep the league moving? That much work done all the time, every week, for people who don’t mind the league going up in smoke, make it hard to stay motivated. If Mamba wasn’t raising his young buck Safi to become one of the all time great players of the league, Mamba too would probably be spent.
So play those horns of Nina Simone’s “Feeling Good” loudly, please! For everyone to hear! May Safi’s future remain bright and free from the curses wrought by the TC gods!
___
That's to name a few of the more vocal voices over the last week, anyways. All things considered, a few of these GMs leaving would be fine. People burn out. Losing time and again after trying so hard is absolutely demoralizing. Conversely, winning so much and actively doing so little to keep winning can’t feel like too much fun after a while either.
But if all of these GMs come together to say goodbye, on top of a failing simputer that could render this problem completely moot, I am afraid for PBSL’s future. I spent an embarrassing amount of time learning how to sim league, and for all of that knowledge to become completely useless? Without winning a championship? (I mean, it's all arguably useless anyway but...) It would definitely suck, and I am not ready to let PBSL go.