S52 Nonplayoff teams - Unite!
Posted: Thu Jul 01, 2021 6:50 pm
This sucks. I haven’t been out of the playoffs in over a decade. I hate it. But I need to think toward the future...so why not look toward everyone’s future and earn a few points along the way? Eh? But don’t follow my advice or even bother reading your team’s section because it is pure gold and will make your team better and I just want to beat you as soon as possible.
So … let’s categorize things a bit, yeah? What you should do, what you shouldn’t do, and what I would do if I were you. Last place first!
ALPHA
13th place: Atlanta Hawks, 6-76
What you should do:
Let’s start with the obvious: try. Even though Loco has been hamstrung by his own choices ever since he returned to PBSL several seasons ago, living perpetually in tax jail, that does not mean Loco can’t make some savvy UFA signings and sell for points, or build a good yet cheap roster and rack up some wins and more points that way. Literally try anything whatsoever and it will be better than what you are doing right now. I would hate to see the storied Atlanta Hawks relegated into obscurity.
What you shouldn’t do:
Stay the course. You are on a fast path to giving this league what it does not need - another steward - and thus raising the question again of keeping this thing going at all, especially with the commish winding down his reign. This league faces hard decisions soon, but I’d like to see everyone who is here put something back in for the sake of whatever this league gave you back when you were riding your own crazy team super deep into the tax. Right? That was super fun, right? There are plenty of GMs out here who would love the opportunity to do that too.
What I would do if I were you:
Engage the draft. Engage UFA. Talk to the commish about forgiveness of some sort to grow your own involvement. Hold on to some prospects and push your cap to grab some wins and start making some real moves in S53.
12th place: Phoenix Suns, 24-58
What you should do:
Build a roster around Ronny Asher. This guy is your best player and he is only getting better. This league is devoid of big talent and Ronny is that guy once he hits his full potential. It’s very exciting to have a 7’0” tall strong and fast (for a big) guy who won’t get tired easily. You have a lot of guaranteed salary on your roster next year without the talent to match it, so reaching out to a team like the Hawks and selling off as many players as he will take for 10 points would be a great start. Then you can make a bigger splash in UFA.
What you shouldn’t do:
Exercise any of your team options beyond Avdija and Asher’s rookie options. Keep all these greens on contracts more than vet mins. Sign anyone over the age of 35 for more than a vet min (probably).
What I would do if I were you:
Disconsider the futures of anyone not named Ronny Asher. Even Avdija. Asher might not be the greatest player to build around, but he’s a good start. Avdija will be old and declining when Asher hits his prime, so let him boost your win column for now, but maybe trade him for some prospects.
11th place: Miami Heat, 26-56
What you should do:
Miami Heat were the best last place team of any division by far. He Hor’s development has been painstakingly slow, but steady. He’s not the proven prospect that Delmar was and that Dort has become (insurance-gate), but he still has potential to be one of the best players in the league. In fact, this team is poised to have one of the best TCs in the league! So put some time and effort into it. Sure, hitting “recommend” works, but if you look at where “recommend” puts points, like anything more than 2 or 3 in He Hor’s PSD/BLK, and you might want to make your own changes. But if Bradley, Manley and Bailey all have color changing TCs? You could probably sit tight after signing a decent UFA and run to the playoffs for the first time since 2038.
What you shouldn’t do:
Ignore TC. Ignore trade offers if one of your stars' progress is delayed compared to the others.
What I would do if I were you:
Look at who is deepest in the tax and successful this year and see who’s most willing to sell. It will take some searching, but I would get the Heat active on the trade block for a win now piece, unless TC netted results that fell short of expectations.
10th place: Minnesota Timberwolves, 37-45
What you should do:
A podcast. We miss your voice. I know the commish was hella busy this season so scheduling was a problem, but the Horns and Fangs pod finally won MEOTY because yours and Josh’s voices hold this league together in a very tangible way. Pretty sure most GMs listen to it, on soundcloud if not live. It’s fantastic.
Take a deep look at your roster and pick a direction and stick with it. There’s a ton of talent there at varied points of their respective careers. Mitchell is (and has been) ready now. Hayashi and Dong Bone are still developing. Quackenbush is ready now but not a star player, especially if you didn’t care for Raspberry or Wolfgang. So which road is it - present or future? You’re savvy enough to decide for yourself.
Also trade me your pick if you land higher than me in the lottery.
What you shouldn’t do:
Lose any more interest. I know your life is busy, but never forget that sim league IS life. I can accept a few inactive years or seasons, but come back. Please. Or send me Mitchell Robinson for virtually nothing.
What I would do if I were you:
Blow it up and go with the young guys and the future. If you’re not interested now, or just too busy, come back when Bone and Hayashi are awesome, along with whomever else you get in this draft. You’ll have a nice young crew for a rebuild when you’re ready to play.
9th place: Dallas Mavericks, 38-44
What you should do:
Nothing differently. You always do just enough to keep your Mavs floating along with a near .500 record and a negative point differential. It’s awesome - don’t ever change. If you turned into Rodrigo is S53 I think we would all be very worried whether everything was okay. But I know we don’t have to worry about that, and it’s fantastic.
Take a reasonable offer for Morley to get his contract off your books, though. You’re usually game for something like that.
What you shouldn’t do:
Trade any young blue potential players. Ignore any offers for your players aged 27 or more.
What I would do if I were you:
Sell Michael Morley and Corey Brooks to the highest bidders. Build around Carner, Berger, Kuykendall and Ortega. Make the playoffs in another season or two. Continue not going for ‘ships.
8th place: Sacramento Kings, 40-42
What you should do:
I’ve found some of SuperDog’s moves to be confounding, mostly because instead of hedging his bets on win now or future greats, he kept and traded both. And now they’re a .500 team without a clear direction forward. Hmm…
Killian Hayes is a gem. Addington is pretty good. Jonathan Lewis is great but was greater once upon a purple purple time... but someone has got to go! The tax must be reset. Figure out who you love the most (Hayes, presumably) or who will net you the greatest return in a trade (Hayes) and go from there. You just gotta make a right or left turn instead of continuing to go straight.
What you shouldn’t do:
Nothing. This team can contend within a year or two, or be a force many seasons down the road if you decide to blow up the Kings and start over. Don’t do nothing.
What I would do if I were you:
Sell all assets to the highest bidders and start over. Or keep Hayes and see how far I can go beefing my team up around him.
OMEGA
8th place: New Orleans Pelicans, 40-42
What you should do:
Sign an ‘unsignable’ RFA and shake things up. Rattle cages. This team could have made the playoffs but just fell short. No one noteworthy is guaranteed to return besides Bias and Keller, so go out there and grab a star. Bias has one stellar season left in him before he’s a strong 6th (Terrance) man(n, who had a great game 6 in the semis, am i right??). Seriously, scour the free agents page with meticulous precision when the new season kicks over. I think you will definitely do this, considering your track record for finding “the best of the best!” There’s no reason to believe you will fall short here.
What you shouldn’t do:
Sleep thru free agency. With all that cap, the sim world is your oyster! Really excited to see what you do here, but I don’t believe you can do much wrong. Do anything halfway savvy and you’re back in the playoffs next year I reckon.
What I would do if I were you:
Make big plays of any and all types possible during the offseason. Put Bias on the block in case an offer comes but plan to sell him before the S54 deadline at the latest.
9th place: Cleveland Cavaliers, 38-44
What you should do:
Continue posting memes. I love how active you are in the meme thread. I don’t always get it, or enjoy Justin Bieber like at all, but it's still great stuff.
Package some pieces together for a solid young guy. Think about a rebuild. This team is actually really good on the surface but never clicked. Shank is gone and possibly outbidable, or not worth retaining. Tilton and BBJr. have not performed as highly as their contracts would indicate, but certainly near contenders would be interested.
What you shouldn’t do:
Stay the course. Some kind of shake up needs to go down with a heavy play toward future success.
What I would do if I were you:
Sell every single current b/b asap. Maybe even Scottie Barnes too. You could end up with a couple all stars and sit on them until they’re ready to go.
10th place: Los Angeles Lakers, 37-45
What you should do:
Eat cake.
What you shouldn’t do:
Eat ****.
What I would do if I were you:
Fap to Delmar’s stats.
11th place: Toronto Raptors, 18-64
What you should do:
Invest in your young blue potential core. Marcel McAllister is responsible for every Toronto win since coming over from the Clippers, but there’s no need to retain him. Someone else will bid high in UFA and he just doesn’t hold that much value on this Toronto team.
What you shouldn’t do:
Insure David McCafferty, but it would be really funny if you did.
What I would do if I were you:
Insure David McCafferty.
12th place: Detroit Pistons, 14-68
What you should do:
Whatever the frye you want. It’s cool that you’re still hanging around and somewhat active despite your personal life requiring a lot of time and attention.
What you shouldn’t do:
Quit.
What I would do if I were you:
Re-sign Monty Dingess. It’s all in the stats, right Dr. K?
13th place: Utah Jazz, 5-77
What you should do:
Anything.
What you shouldn’t do:
Nothing.
What I would do if I were you:
Something.
Clearly I ran out of steam here, but I had to get something up after such good analysis of Alpha. I hope some of you enjoyed it. May we all be playoff contenders next years! Become the Best of the Best!!!
So … let’s categorize things a bit, yeah? What you should do, what you shouldn’t do, and what I would do if I were you. Last place first!
ALPHA
13th place: Atlanta Hawks, 6-76
What you should do:
Let’s start with the obvious: try. Even though Loco has been hamstrung by his own choices ever since he returned to PBSL several seasons ago, living perpetually in tax jail, that does not mean Loco can’t make some savvy UFA signings and sell for points, or build a good yet cheap roster and rack up some wins and more points that way. Literally try anything whatsoever and it will be better than what you are doing right now. I would hate to see the storied Atlanta Hawks relegated into obscurity.
What you shouldn’t do:
Stay the course. You are on a fast path to giving this league what it does not need - another steward - and thus raising the question again of keeping this thing going at all, especially with the commish winding down his reign. This league faces hard decisions soon, but I’d like to see everyone who is here put something back in for the sake of whatever this league gave you back when you were riding your own crazy team super deep into the tax. Right? That was super fun, right? There are plenty of GMs out here who would love the opportunity to do that too.
What I would do if I were you:
Engage the draft. Engage UFA. Talk to the commish about forgiveness of some sort to grow your own involvement. Hold on to some prospects and push your cap to grab some wins and start making some real moves in S53.
12th place: Phoenix Suns, 24-58
What you should do:
Build a roster around Ronny Asher. This guy is your best player and he is only getting better. This league is devoid of big talent and Ronny is that guy once he hits his full potential. It’s very exciting to have a 7’0” tall strong and fast (for a big) guy who won’t get tired easily. You have a lot of guaranteed salary on your roster next year without the talent to match it, so reaching out to a team like the Hawks and selling off as many players as he will take for 10 points would be a great start. Then you can make a bigger splash in UFA.
What you shouldn’t do:
Exercise any of your team options beyond Avdija and Asher’s rookie options. Keep all these greens on contracts more than vet mins. Sign anyone over the age of 35 for more than a vet min (probably).
What I would do if I were you:
Disconsider the futures of anyone not named Ronny Asher. Even Avdija. Asher might not be the greatest player to build around, but he’s a good start. Avdija will be old and declining when Asher hits his prime, so let him boost your win column for now, but maybe trade him for some prospects.
11th place: Miami Heat, 26-56
What you should do:
Miami Heat were the best last place team of any division by far. He Hor’s development has been painstakingly slow, but steady. He’s not the proven prospect that Delmar was and that Dort has become (insurance-gate), but he still has potential to be one of the best players in the league. In fact, this team is poised to have one of the best TCs in the league! So put some time and effort into it. Sure, hitting “recommend” works, but if you look at where “recommend” puts points, like anything more than 2 or 3 in He Hor’s PSD/BLK, and you might want to make your own changes. But if Bradley, Manley and Bailey all have color changing TCs? You could probably sit tight after signing a decent UFA and run to the playoffs for the first time since 2038.
What you shouldn’t do:
Ignore TC. Ignore trade offers if one of your stars' progress is delayed compared to the others.
What I would do if I were you:
Look at who is deepest in the tax and successful this year and see who’s most willing to sell. It will take some searching, but I would get the Heat active on the trade block for a win now piece, unless TC netted results that fell short of expectations.
10th place: Minnesota Timberwolves, 37-45
What you should do:
A podcast. We miss your voice. I know the commish was hella busy this season so scheduling was a problem, but the Horns and Fangs pod finally won MEOTY because yours and Josh’s voices hold this league together in a very tangible way. Pretty sure most GMs listen to it, on soundcloud if not live. It’s fantastic.
Take a deep look at your roster and pick a direction and stick with it. There’s a ton of talent there at varied points of their respective careers. Mitchell is (and has been) ready now. Hayashi and Dong Bone are still developing. Quackenbush is ready now but not a star player, especially if you didn’t care for Raspberry or Wolfgang. So which road is it - present or future? You’re savvy enough to decide for yourself.
Also trade me your pick if you land higher than me in the lottery.
What you shouldn’t do:
Lose any more interest. I know your life is busy, but never forget that sim league IS life. I can accept a few inactive years or seasons, but come back. Please. Or send me Mitchell Robinson for virtually nothing.
What I would do if I were you:
Blow it up and go with the young guys and the future. If you’re not interested now, or just too busy, come back when Bone and Hayashi are awesome, along with whomever else you get in this draft. You’ll have a nice young crew for a rebuild when you’re ready to play.
9th place: Dallas Mavericks, 38-44
What you should do:
Nothing differently. You always do just enough to keep your Mavs floating along with a near .500 record and a negative point differential. It’s awesome - don’t ever change. If you turned into Rodrigo is S53 I think we would all be very worried whether everything was okay. But I know we don’t have to worry about that, and it’s fantastic.
Take a reasonable offer for Morley to get his contract off your books, though. You’re usually game for something like that.
What you shouldn’t do:
Trade any young blue potential players. Ignore any offers for your players aged 27 or more.
What I would do if I were you:
Sell Michael Morley and Corey Brooks to the highest bidders. Build around Carner, Berger, Kuykendall and Ortega. Make the playoffs in another season or two. Continue not going for ‘ships.
8th place: Sacramento Kings, 40-42
What you should do:
I’ve found some of SuperDog’s moves to be confounding, mostly because instead of hedging his bets on win now or future greats, he kept and traded both. And now they’re a .500 team without a clear direction forward. Hmm…
Killian Hayes is a gem. Addington is pretty good. Jonathan Lewis is great but was greater once upon a purple purple time... but someone has got to go! The tax must be reset. Figure out who you love the most (Hayes, presumably) or who will net you the greatest return in a trade (Hayes) and go from there. You just gotta make a right or left turn instead of continuing to go straight.
What you shouldn’t do:
Nothing. This team can contend within a year or two, or be a force many seasons down the road if you decide to blow up the Kings and start over. Don’t do nothing.
What I would do if I were you:
Sell all assets to the highest bidders and start over. Or keep Hayes and see how far I can go beefing my team up around him.
OMEGA
8th place: New Orleans Pelicans, 40-42
What you should do:
Sign an ‘unsignable’ RFA and shake things up. Rattle cages. This team could have made the playoffs but just fell short. No one noteworthy is guaranteed to return besides Bias and Keller, so go out there and grab a star. Bias has one stellar season left in him before he’s a strong 6th (Terrance) man(n, who had a great game 6 in the semis, am i right??). Seriously, scour the free agents page with meticulous precision when the new season kicks over. I think you will definitely do this, considering your track record for finding “the best of the best!” There’s no reason to believe you will fall short here.
What you shouldn’t do:
Sleep thru free agency. With all that cap, the sim world is your oyster! Really excited to see what you do here, but I don’t believe you can do much wrong. Do anything halfway savvy and you’re back in the playoffs next year I reckon.
What I would do if I were you:
Make big plays of any and all types possible during the offseason. Put Bias on the block in case an offer comes but plan to sell him before the S54 deadline at the latest.
9th place: Cleveland Cavaliers, 38-44
What you should do:
Continue posting memes. I love how active you are in the meme thread. I don’t always get it, or enjoy Justin Bieber like at all, but it's still great stuff.
Package some pieces together for a solid young guy. Think about a rebuild. This team is actually really good on the surface but never clicked. Shank is gone and possibly outbidable, or not worth retaining. Tilton and BBJr. have not performed as highly as their contracts would indicate, but certainly near contenders would be interested.
What you shouldn’t do:
Stay the course. Some kind of shake up needs to go down with a heavy play toward future success.
What I would do if I were you:
Sell every single current b/b asap. Maybe even Scottie Barnes too. You could end up with a couple all stars and sit on them until they’re ready to go.
10th place: Los Angeles Lakers, 37-45
What you should do:
Eat cake.
What you shouldn’t do:
Eat ****.
What I would do if I were you:
Fap to Delmar’s stats.
11th place: Toronto Raptors, 18-64
What you should do:
Invest in your young blue potential core. Marcel McAllister is responsible for every Toronto win since coming over from the Clippers, but there’s no need to retain him. Someone else will bid high in UFA and he just doesn’t hold that much value on this Toronto team.
What you shouldn’t do:
Insure David McCafferty, but it would be really funny if you did.
What I would do if I were you:
Insure David McCafferty.
12th place: Detroit Pistons, 14-68
What you should do:
Whatever the frye you want. It’s cool that you’re still hanging around and somewhat active despite your personal life requiring a lot of time and attention.
What you shouldn’t do:
Quit.
What I would do if I were you:
Re-sign Monty Dingess. It’s all in the stats, right Dr. K?
13th place: Utah Jazz, 5-77
What you should do:
Anything.
What you shouldn’t do:
Nothing.
What I would do if I were you:
Something.
Clearly I ran out of steam here, but I had to get something up after such good analysis of Alpha. I hope some of you enjoyed it. May we all be playoff contenders next years! Become the Best of the Best!!!