#SLOE: People's Basketball Sim League

Dominick Cobb is reportedly going back to Detroit on a supermax contract. He was quoted as saying, "We already got Cobb Salads, Corn Cobbs, and Ty Cobbs. Detroit bout to be COBB CITY, suckasssss"

Reports are that the Sacramento Kings will be using their $111m in cap space "aggressively" this free agency. They've already made max offers to several players including division rival players John Stoll and Quentin Kidd offering some off-book benefits such as a "wink-wink" agreement to make either a future mayor of Sac-town.

The 76ers have max cap-space and their fans would love to see them use it on a dominant BIG MAN. When reached for a quote, KeepIt100 reportedly said 'Wanna trade up, bro?'

Cam Reddish is on his way out of New York before the free agency period starts. Reports say it's a deal with Milwaukee to head back to his old team.

Bjorn Ironside is expecting to get paid as one of only two purple players available this free agency, and is currently considering a supermax contract offer from the Bucks. I asked him in his native Icelandic, "Gistir þú?" which per Google translate means "Are you staying?" He responded, "Bruh, I'm from fryeing Montana."

Does Gregory Haddock have one foot out the door in Brooklyn? Rumors heating up that Brooklyn is ready for Clay Waters to take over PG duties and a possible Haddock S&T is in the works. Several teams consider Haddock their #1 priority in the PG market

After adding Jerry West, the Houston Rockets are looking for some more firepower. Unfortunately, the top free agents have been underwhelmed with the Rocketfuel in their offers and they aren't expected to sign anyone in Round One.

Ernest Long is considering several max offers. Is OKC ready to pay after winning Butler's RFA rights from LAL?

Reports out of Minnesota are that O.G. Annouby wants O.U.T. as he read his name came up over and over in trade talks this offseason, despite team owners publicly stating he was not made available. Seeing several other options to play the 4 on this roster, he'd just like to be traded to an organization that will appropriately value him.

When looking at why Thomas Edison's market has been cold thus far, one GM was quoted as saying, "Mutherf*cka can invent a lightbulb, he better invent a way to stop fouling out of a damn ballgame."

Surprising nobody, Geoff Rickly expected to stay in Dallas at least thru Day 1 of UFA.

Several UFAs have scoffed at joining the Sixers this summer. One notable UFA is quoted, "I am not a babysitter, ask me again in a couple of seasons."

Sources close to our more frugal owners expect some heavy spending in round 2. There is a growing realization in their inner circles that the Hawks and Knicks have cornered the cap space market.

Rumblings around the league are that the Pistons have found their new PG. Len Bias? Gregory Haddock?

Stay tuned for more information

The Bucks are rumored to be trading Fox and Morant to the New York Knicks so they do not wreck the league in free agency.

Rockets are looking to sign Mo Bamba, RJ Barrett, and Jerry West to one year contracts.

If Deni Avidja has a good training camp, look for the Rockets to move him due to his upcoming RFA status despite promising him the starting point guard spot this season.

Sources close to the Suns front office is their GM is crying like a baby over the loss of Ben Franklin. HOW EMBARRASING!

Sources around the league expect a quiet day 60 right now. Kings and Nets remain firm to sit tight and wait, despite several GMs asking if they are selling.

BLOCKBUSTER TRADE BREWING IN OMEGA

PAUL AMMERMAN ON THE MOVE? THE STARTING JAZZ PG IS REQUESTING A TRADE TO SOUTH BEACH CITING HOW BORING SALT LAKE CITY IS. IS LOGAN WILLING TO MOVE ON FROM WORLD B. FREE?

Sources out of Omega are reporting that Delmar Lopez and upper management have reached an impasse on how the Los Angeles Lakers will move forward. Official sources have gone radio silent since Sources broke the news. We'll be following this one closely, but sources add that internally the club's vibe shifted drastically just weeks after the loss to OKC. Stay tuned...

Sources say that 34-year old guard Silky Johnson was caught texting his former coach the other day, urging the former Utah Jazz man to make a return for "the sake of humanity." When confronted about his interactions, Silky lit up a Virginia Slim and walked out of the room.

Rumors are abound in Oklahoma City that Antonio Blakeney has just fathered a rabid golden retriever. PetSmart has confirmed his presence in the store on numerous occasions, often asking awkward questions regarding dog genitals.

There is speculation that Charles Alleman of the Utah Jazz is open to a trade due to his committing multiple unsolved felonies in the area. He is rumored to be interested in relocating to evade authorities.

Due to salary mismanagement, inactivity, and shear recklessness, there are huge concerns that the Rockets will not be able to re-sign some of their young prospects including Sion James due to massive debt. If the debt is not addressed in the next couple of years, it's possible James will be dealt.