Greepleairport spreads his arms like wings and makes a VROOM noise running up to the podium, clears his throat, takes a deep breath to speak, passes gas slowly and loudly, looks around, tries to speak and farts again. Presser begins.
I’ve wanted a purp my whole career. I considered trading for Jerry West for so long for his purpness, and also Syndicate’s regular inquiries about my interest. As soon as I got him, BOOM, b/b, which...of course it went down like that. But I knew Delmar would pop purple some day, and that day has finally arrived. Huzzah!
But let’s go backwards a bit.
S47 was off to a promising start with an undefeated sim1 and sitting 10-1 after sim2. I was elated. I was missing talent in the front court though, and nabbed all the PG’s in the league that were up for nabbing, surely upsetting other GMs. So I cut a deal with my inherent rival down the hall at the Staples center, Mamba, in mid December, shipping out the most expensive player in BDJ and acquiring Jaren Jackson Jr. and Clifton Cage in a deal that felt like I could contend...but the longer the season went, the more exposed we were. We weren’t that good! Not good enough anyway. We wrapped with less than 50 wins for the first time since the 2031-32 season. We bounced back with 60 wins the next season soooo here’s hoping history repeats?
No bones about it, our core of Delmar and Bias - or the Delmar Bias as I like to call it, enjoying wordplay - will be our reason for any amount of success. I planned to support them with defensive talent almost exclusively and stay under the tax, maybe getting some luck from Free Agency / TC Gods. After a miserable S47 TC, Justin Todd bounced to blue and looks better than ever on a decent expiring contract, too! Mike Burnham put in hard work this offseason, showing that he’s going to be looking for a nice contract in the seasons to come.
We’ve brought back Clifton Cage and Pete Maravich who, despite predictably bad TCs, still offer us a lot on the defensive end, and Pete is still a very serviceable PG to anyone who needs one! These guys have been great to work with, but they’ll be on the block pretty soon.
Our depth pieces of Dino Washington and Robert Kelly (sorry xist) will take their place, adding solid defensive talent off the bench in our back court. And Charles Giguere will back up Delmar probably, too. Looking better than ever Charles!
We’re mostly biding our time this year and allowing the Delmar Bias some time to shine and grow their star power. I think they’ll both have their best years ever and I fully expect both to put up league leading numbers. Len even spent some time building skills defensively in the paint, though I advised him against it cause dude - you’re 6ft tall, why are you practicing blocks but okay.
S48 goals: reset tax, Delmar Bias, win as many as possible. Then look out for us in S49 yall. We'll be hanging out postseason like Lebron:
Any questions?