The lights dim. The video board transitions from Magic Johnson to a highlight package of last season- Ernie Acuna dropping dimes, Josh Jackson raining 3s, Bronny with thunderous dunks, and Boban weeping with joy lifting the Larry O'Brien trophy and Bill Russell award in his monstrous hands.
GM false9 struts through the curtains with bombastic music playing on the sound system, flanked by a nerdish looking assistant.
Hello, friends. It's good to be back! Please help yourselves to the open bar and buffet.
The assistant steps in with a concerned look, whispering into false9's ear.
I'm sorry, I'm being told it's a cash bar and buffet. But please, enjoy yourselves.
When we met last season, I set high expectations for our team. We didn't disappoint. We had our franchise's best season ever- 73 wins in the regular season, a fifteen game winning
in the playoffs, capped off by defeating the defending champs in 5 in the Finals.
So how do you follow-up the best season ever? By running it back! We matched Bronny James in RFA, supermaxed Josh Jackson, and brought back the majority of our bench. Chung Mele- enjoy chucking shots in Detroit. Also, in a move with eyes toward the future, we traded Isiah Stewart for Brooks Thompson and a pick swap.
I have the same demands for this team that I did last season- anything less than a championship is a failure. But I'm confident. This is a damn good team. The gameplan and depth chart isn't changing. We're running with this group into the next few seasons at any cost!
The assistant begins to step in again, but false9 stiffarms him aside
That's right, ANY COST!
With that, I'll take your questions.