Detroit Pistons Preseason Press Conference

[Wombataholic]

Good morning and thank you for joining us.

As we go into our first year under new managment, we are optimistic that we will end several seasons of poor play, which is one of the worst things Detroit has ever had the misfortune of producing, like Kid Rock.

Because we have so many new faces, we don't expect to win right out of the gate. We have a lot of young talent to surround A-Dizzle with, such as his good friends Odis "O-Jizzle" Jackson, T.J. "T-Wizzle" Warren, Rodney "R-Hizzle" Hood and James "J-Hizzle" Heise.

We also accidentally signed two veteran point guards, Ramon Sessions and Aaron Brooks, to short-term deals to lead the team while we groom our backup point guard of the future, Charles Sartin.

Kyle "Raggedy Andy" Singler is also a player on this team.

The rest of the squad is filled with guys who have specialized roles, which will include doling out high fives to players coming off the floor, cheering their teammates on from the bench, and collecting the league minimum while playing a smattering of garbage time minutes.

Speaking of playing time, A-Dizzle will be playing most of his minutes at the 4, and occasionally at the 5. T.J. Warren will start at the 3, moving to the 4 when we play small ball. Rodney Hood will start at the 2, and play the 3 when we go small. James Heise will see a lot of time at shooting guard. Our starting point guard will be Aaron Brooks, with a healthy helping of Ramon Sessions.

While I'm on the subject of players, I'd like to address the rumor that's been going around that we've been shopping T.J. Warren. Those rumors are 100 percent true. T.J. has a ton of upside and will be a special player in this league for a long time to come, but we're planning on going in a different direction whenever we get a suitable offer.

Looking around the Central Division, I'd say that we're the fourth best team in the division. As for the East as a whole, the Hawks and Raptors look like the class of the conference. It's a tough conference. There are no off nights in this league. We've got to work hard, play as a team, take it one game at a time. Nobody believes in us, but we believe in ourselves.

I'll open up the floor to questions.

[JNR]

GWR: The past few years have shown that Anthony Davis...sorry, A-Dizzle is too good for this team to completely tank for a top pick. With that in mind, what avenues have you pursued to surround him with talent good enough to compete?

[NOLa.]

Did you know that wombat pouches are backwards? Their pouches open up towards the rear, not the belly. Apparently it allows them to dig so they don't get dirt in their pouches.

Is your rear pouch ready for some A-Dizzle?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Wombataholic]

GWR: The past few years have shown that Anthony Davis...sorry, A-Dizzle is too good for this team to completely tank for a top pick. With that in mind, what avenues have you pursued to surround him with talent good enough to compete?

We have put a premium on signing players that can shoot 3's so that we can space the floor and give A-Dizzle room to do A-Dizzle things.

[Wombataholic]

Did you know that wombat pouches are backwards? Their pouches open up towards the rear, not the belly. Apparently it allows them to dig so they don't get dirt in their pouches.

Is your rear pouch ready for some A-Dizzle?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

My pouch is always ready for some A-Dizzle.

[garbageman]

Sham Smith, Bulls.com: The words "Detroit Pistons Preseason Press Conference" aren't words that a lot of people have seen in a long time. How have the players reacted to finally having real management, and now that management is in place, how long before the Pistons set their goal to a deep playoff run with A-Dizzle at the helm?

[ballsohard]

With the Draft and FA over with, what's the biggest need for your team to help Ad out?

[Wombataholic]

Sham Smith, Bulls.com: The words "Detroit Pistons Preseason Press Conference" aren't words that a lot of people have seen in a long time. How have the players reacted to finally having real management, and now that management is in place, how long before the Pistons set their goal to a deep playoff run with A-Dizzle at the helm?

The players have welcomed the new management with open arms. They were well aware that the management offices had been more or less completely abandoned. A-Dizzle told us that they lights hadn't been on in the management offices for months and that it was eerie walking in to the virtually empty Pistons facilities.

It may be some time before we're ready to make a deep run in the playoffs. A-Dizzle can't do it alone, and it will take time for us to acquire and develop a competent supporting cast without mortgaging the future of the franchise. Winning is a habit, and you don't suddenly get a new habit. Unless your habit is heroin, in which case you can get hooked pretty easily. Just ask Terrence Ross.

[Wombataholic]

With the Draft and FA over with, what's the biggest need for your team to help Ad out?

Our biggest need is a long-term answer at point guard, followed by depth.

[PaulyP]

Jon Snow, Westeros Sports Network;

Your press conference has been jovial and humorous but lets be frank and honest, this team has been absolutely terrible for almost a decade and I think the fans around the league want to know---what qualities as a GM do you bring to the table to the city of Detroit? What qualities should a Top GM possess in your mind?

[false9]

Any truth to the rumors Detroit will be rebranded as "The Pizzles"?

[Wombataholic]

Jon Snow, Westeros Sports Network;

Your press conference has been jovial and humorous but lets be frank and honest, this team has been absolutely terrible for almost a decade and I think the fans around the league want to know---what qualities as a GM do you bring to the table to the city of Detroit? What qualities should a Top GM possess in your mind?

You know nothing Jon Snow.

[Wombataholic]

Any truth to the rumors Detroit will be rebranded as "The Pizzles"?

We are the Fighting Anthony Davises™ and we will be until A-Dizzle says the team needs a different nickname.

[WigNosy]

Did Odis Jackson show you enough in the preseason to keep him around long-term, or are you just letting him hold down the fort until you can acquire a stretch five?

[Bowtothebill23]

Is A-Dizzle the best player in the NBA right now in your opinion? If not, where is he?

[78#]

How much influence does Anthony Davis have on the franchise? Is acting GM and head coach as well as franchise player?

[NickMalone77]

Nick Melon; The Advocate: With signing both Sessions and Brooks to longterm, big money deals, do you see them sharing the back court together at times? Who do you see as the starter between the 2?

[Wombataholic]

Did Odis Jackson show you enough in the preseason to keep him around long-term, or are you just letting him hold down the fort until you can acquire a stretch five?

I believe that Odis Jackson will be our starting center for the next 5 years.

[Wombataholic]

Is A-Dizzle the best player in the NBA right now in your opinion? If not, where is he?

Yes.

[Wombataholic]

How much influence does Anthony Davis have on the franchise? Is acting GM and head coach as well as franchise player?

We will do whatever A-Dizzle tells us to. He's the boss of all of us.

[Wombataholic]

Nick Melon; The Advocate: With signing both Sessions and Brooks to longterm, big money deals, do you see them sharing the back court together at times? Who do you see as the starter between the 2?

I don't think of a two-year deal as being long-term, but yes, they will see the court together at times. Brooks will be the starter.