Coach Seven pokes his head out from the side of the stage. The crowd gasps. Coach Seven has not appeared before the media for four years, only being seen on the sidelines before slinking off after ever depressing game. After he collects himself, he walks onto the stage.
Seven: Uhhhh. . . Sorry about my apparel. I thought there would be a podium. So I know I have been kind of a recluse over the past few seasons. My last media appearance was four years ago. After being embarrassed by Shawn last year, I decided I needed to make a stand. Our GM, Kevin U. Coach, is still locked in his office, peeing in mason jars.
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Anyway. . . With the Bradley trade last season, we turned a new page in Portland, an exciting page. Dirk is now the face of the franchise. We're planning to compete for a championship, not a division title, not a 4 seed, but a championship. I know what you're all thinking, you guys aren't even close. Well, I totally agree but this is a team that is built for the future and the future isn't that close either.
With the Bradley trade, we brought in Cuttino Mobley, who has exceeded our expectations in every way. After winning MIP and a great camp, he's set to continue to pour in points. Dirk arguably could have been an MIP candidate last year too. He had a monster camp and we expect him to improve even more this year. We feel he is only a year or two away from being one of the league's most prolific scorers. Manu and Jamaal are two young guys that are working very hard. They are still pretty raw but we expect they will be very important and potent contributors over the next few years.
Free agency went fairly well. We took a lot of heat for paying Strickland and Fisher but I have a couple things to say about that. One, we were the only team to sign an RFA away from the retaining team. Two, these are short term deals to young players. In other words, we're focused on the future and these are two guys that will help us now and later. We also brought in Big Shot Bob Horry. Horry is going to provide some valuable veteran leadership while providing some solid defense on the perimeter and down low.
Our expectation for this season is to compete for the last playoff spot in the West. We want to get these young guys some playoff experience and give our fans something to cheer about. If we miss, oh well. Next year's draft is pretty deep and even so it is a great year to try to overachieve. Thanks for coming.