Portland Preseason Presser 2015-2016

[kucoach7]

An unknown spokeswoman takes the podium and opens a sealed envelope.

Unknown spokeswoman: I have a letter here which was received yesterday in the mail from GM Kevin U. Coach.

Fake news reporters: Is something from with Kevin? Is he physically unable to present? Is he on vacation?

Unknown spokeswoman: Per my instructions, I will not answer any questions until after I have read the letter. Ehem,

"Dear press, or whatever I am supposed to say to address you guys.

I can't really be bothered coming in right now. I'm half way through the 6th season of "Bones" and I just gotta figure out how Bones and Booth get together. I figured I probably wouldn't make it out of bed before the press conference and that I probably wouldn't go into the office just like every other day since the second week of last season so I thought I would just mail in the usual garbage I spew at you this time of year.

So last season was a yuge disappointment. First of all I got all bent out of shape after Artest passed on us, pretended not to be bent out of shape, and made some rash trades that actually didn't end up half bad. Then my old friend Quail called at the deadline and it was just like the good old times back in Houston, him talking me into stuff. The week night trips to the casinos in Galveston, the binge eating, the... I mean, I thought the Booz/Rose pairing would be nice enough to make a playoff push and that there would be enough Booz left around this year to sabotage our pick that is owned by the Kings. Turns out I was wrong (on both counts), which happens a lot, as my wife and millions of Blazers fans frequently remind me.

This offseason was so according to plan it stunned me, especially since I rarely left the tub. We sold of Ish (for a smaller haul than expected but whatever) and then used that cash to fill out the roster under the cap. Unfortunately the TC gods smote Booz and T-Mac with a fury rarely seen around here and it looks like our team is going to be really bad this year. Oh well. We like that rookie we got. What's his name? Harley Phin? I know it had something to do with motorcycles. Anyway, Jenni, if you're reading this, cancel all of my appoints for the rest of the week, Bones just confessed her love to Booth and I don't think I'm going to be able to pry myself away from this for a while.

Sincerely,
Keven U. Coach VII
General Manager
Portland Trailblazers"

The spokeswoman we can now safely assume to be Jenni: I'll now open the floor for questions.

[JNR]

GWR: From a team that is experimenting with a two point guard backcourt, what did you learn last year about pairing Ish and Rose together?

[kucoach7]

GWR: From a team that is experimenting with a two point guard backcourt, what did you learn last year about pairing Ish and Rose together?

It was too much money tied up in one position. We just didn't have enough cap to fill out the rest of the skills we needed.

[garbageman]

Sham Smith, Bulls.com: As one of the 8 teams under the cap, it seems like a wise year to rebuild. However, without your own pick next season, the direction moving forward isn't clear. Do you have any plans to sell talent like Rose for assets, or is the plan to retain him and try to build around him?

[WigNosy]

How soon do you expect Phil Hogg to be able to take over low post scoring duties from Carlos Boozer?

[kucoach7]

Sham Smith, Bulls.com: As one of the 8 teams under the cap, it seems like a wise year to rebuild. However, without your own pick next season, the direction moving forward isn't clear. Do you have any plans to sell talent like Rose for assets, or is the plan to retain him and try to build around him?

I can't count the number of times I've almost picked up the phone and called Nola to see if I could trade Rose for my pick. I still may shop Rose at some point but Rose is a special player who is only 27 so at this point we're holding on to him. There is no guarantee I'll get a player like him in return and we'll be good again while he is still in his prime. We're willing to tough it out this year and start fresh next season.

[kucoach7]

How soon do you expect Phil Hogg to be able to take over low post scoring duties from Carlos Boozer?

There is a good chance we'll have a rebuilding year next year and Phil takes over as a score first starting center. There is a lesser chance we stop caring about winning this year and start Phil Hogg now but we're not sure about that yet.

[ballsohard]

What's been the most important thing you've learned in sim league since joining?


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[PaulyP]

Jon Snow, WSN -

You haven't addressed your major win this offseason, the realignment got you out of the dreaded Pacific division. How happy were you guys when you found out?

[TheSyndicate]

Do Bones and Booth really get together? If so, SPOILER ALERT.

Also, if you had to guess - what's Boozer's stat line this year?

[kucoach7]

What's been the most important thing you've learned in sim league since joining?


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Just make sure you're having fun but winning is fun so try to do that too.

[kucoach7]

Jon Snow, WSN -

You haven't addressed your major win this offseason, the realignment got you out of the dreaded Pacific division. How happy were you guys when you found out?

I have to admit I'll miss being the punching bag of Nola and Bow but I really like our new division. The Nuggets GM and I joined sim league the same day in the same office so it is great to be able to have an in division rivalry now.

[kucoach7]

Do Bones and Booth really get together? If so, SPOILER ALERT.

Also, if you had to guess - what's Boozer's stat line this year?

I still haven't found out if Bones and Booth ever get together. They really drag this thing out, man. We're planning on pounding the ball down low more than we did in the preseason so Booz realistically could put up 20 ppg and 9 rpg.

[Xist2Inspire]

Is there a chance we could see Withey & Hogg starting in place of Perkins & Boozer if the team stumbles out of the gate?

[kucoach7]

Is there a chance we could see Withey & Hogg starting in place of Perkins & Boozer if the team stumbles out of the gate?

I don't know about that combo. I think if I were to just forget about the fact that I don't have my pick and decide to devote myself to developing my young guys I would try to flip Withey for a wing.

[Inner_GI]

kucoach, you may claim 5 points for your presser.