Five Big Men You Should Consider Before Trading For Mason Dixon

[garbageman]

Has this ever happened to you? You’re sitting there, trying to have a nice day, and you’re not just sitting on the PBSL Forums waiting for something interesting to happen when all of the sudden, you hear the familiar ding of a Facebook notification? And then you open up your Facebook app to see that it’s NOT a friend or loved one, it’s just the PBSL chat, which you thought you muted, but since you were specifically mentioned, it dings anyway?

So you scroll through the chat to find out who the heck is bothering you on your day off, and you see it’s the Pistons, and they’re telling you to check your DMs because you left them on read? But then you go into the PBSL Forums and you find out that IamQuialman has PM’d you about a dozen more times, trying to trade you Mason Dixon and offering a bunch of inane explanations as to why Mason Dixon would be a great fit for your team even though the Lakers are going to win the championship for the next five seasons anyway?

Has it? It’s happened to me, and it’s probably happened to you, but don’t worry. We’re not alone, and the experts here at Garbageman Law are here to help. That’s why we’ve compiled a list of other options you should check out before getting reamed in a deal for Mason Dixon that will only lead to disappointment. Trust me. I’ve had Dixon on my team before, and he didn’t do shit!

Now don’t get me wrong, just because there are a handful of teams out there who are strong contenders for the championship doesn’t mean you shouldn’t look to improve your team. Unless you’re an equally strong contender to win the tank race, there’s no reason to not get better. As long as you don’t give up more than you’ll get back to improve, you’ll get more points if you finish with a better record, make the playoffs, and have better players on your team. Plus, you get winning experience.

Anyway, here are some other mid-level options than Mason Dixon to take your team to the next level:


RONNY ASHER - GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS

If you’re thinking about Mason Dixon, you should definitely knock about Ronny Asher first. His contract is a few tax brackets less expensive, and he’ll provide you with offense. Asher may not be as solid a defender as Dixon, but he’s got solid ratings in PSD and STL, and he excels on the defensive glass. Plus, Asher is on the Warriors block. If Dixon gets traded before Asher does, I don’t think I’d be surprised, but I’d be disappointed.

It’d mean that the Warriors wanted too much, someone didn’t do their due diligence, or most likely, Doug slimed someone.


LYMAN BRADLEY - CHICAGO BULLS

Listen, I’m probably not trading Lyman Bradley, but it’s always possible that the team isn’t as competitive as I hope, and I want to get cheaper. If that’s the case, then I’ll be looking for cheaper and less talented guys to swap out my midrange players (or I’d just completely blow it up and trade Montoya). In any case, Bradley is a much better option than Mason Dixon. His offense is better, his rebounding is better, his defense is just as good, and he can stay on the floor. He’s also got full bird rights. The only problem is that he’s not on the block now, but if you’re patient, it’s at least worth knocking on him before you pull the trigger on Mason Dixon, especially after day 60 or even closer to trade deadline.


ANDY ELLIOTT - NEW ORLEANS PELICANS

The New Orleans Pelicans made a big splash signing Andy Elliott to a nice midrange contract last season when he was y/b. Unfortunately, he gave up his blue potential this training camp, but 25mm for 3 years on a guy who’s solid green at 24 could pay off. At 7’3, Elliott will have a height boost across his attributes that make him a more efficient scorer and more effective rebounder than attributes alone would imply. The only drawback is the 3 year commitment, so if you have a moderate amount of points to vanity train him back to blue or are okay with a green player that is efficient, you might be able to get him for pretty much nothing just so the Pelicans can get rid of his contract. With Zed Key, Ned Lomax, and Steve Ho You Fat, the cap space over the next couple of years could be valuable enough to the Pelicans…especially since a string of cuttable vet mins would be enough to get them under the apron.


LARRY CANFIELD - CLEVELAND CAVALIERS

The Cavaliers are seemingly stuck in the mud. They always tend to make some big signings, but they’re compounded by a slew of average signings, and a team that’s not strong enough to break the playoff ceiling but not weak enough to get a game changing pick, and they don’t make enough moves throughout the season to go one way or another. His salary may be a couple vet mins higher, but if you can come up with 80% of a little north of 40 million, you’ll be getting a game changing center capable of averaging 20/10 with blocks to spare. Of course, he’d also cost you more in terms of future assets, but the Cavs should be willing to listen in either direction, and Canfield would check a lot of boxes. Reasonable contract at a reasonable length? Check. 7’3 height boost? Check. Elite skills that actually translate to the stats sheet? Check.

Hell, you better knock about Canfield before I do.


BARNEY WAGERS - SAN ANTONIO SPURS

If you’re willing to go g/g, but not at the investment of Andy Elliott, look no further than the San Antonio Spurs big man. He averaged a double double in preseason with 15 points and 11 boards a game, partially due to his ability to stay in games longer than Mason Dixon. You’ll lose out on the blocks, but at a sub-4mm minimum contract, Wagers could be worth a flyer for a point or two. He’s a great solution if you haven’t given into Doug’s PMs and you haven’t been able to make any traction on trade talks for any of the more renowned names on this list by day 60, when Wagers becomes available on the trade market. As a min player, he’s got no value on a Spurs team that isn’t ready to compete at the top levels in PBSL right now.



THE COLD HARD FACTS

Don’t believe me? Think I’m just giving Doug guff without any proof to my claims? Let’s go to the stats then. And with that comes a gentle reminder that making these tables counts as words you don’t see. Every cell is enclosed in cell tags. Every row in row tags. Your word count tool may not see it if you copy paste the post itself, but try copy pasting the quote of the post and you’ll see all the hidden hard work that went on behind the scenes, begging to be acknowledged and recognized for their part in the word count of this article.

Let’s take a look at how Mason Dixon did this preseason on a team that was trying to showcase him and compare it to these five players. If Mason Dixon is better than the other option, I’ll color the other option’s stats red. If Mason is worse, I’ll color the other option’s stat green.

RONNY ASHER

Name	Points	Rebounds	Assists	Turnovers	Steals	Blocks	Fouls	FG%	FT%	3PT%
Mason Dixon	9.3	8.2	1.7	1.2	0.5	2.2	3.0	.619	.444	.000
Ronny Asher	10.0	5.8	1.0	1.3	1.5	0.7	2.3	.479	.500	.455

Pretty even split here between red and green, so I guess it depends on what you value, but if you choose contract favorability as a tiebreaker, Asher is on a one year contract worth $17,969,696 while Dixon is owed $25,000,000 this year with a team option for $26.25 million next season. Overall, Asher’s the better value in my opinion. Both will have full bird rights. Dixon may make more of the few shots he takes, but Asher’s three point percentage is higher than Dixon’s free throw percentage, so put that in your pipe and smoke it.


LYMAN BRADLEY

Name	Points	Rebounds	Assists	Turnovers	Steals	Blocks	Fouls	FG%	FT%	3PT%
Mason Dixon	9.3	8.2	1.7	1.2	0.5	2.2	3.0	.619	.444	.000
Lyman Bradley	11.7	13.4	3.3	2.0	1.3	2.2	2.5	.408	.667	.000

A whole lot more green in this one, and the rebounding number is off the map. Lyman Bradley makes less than $22 million with full bird rights at the end of the year, too, so you’ll save a few bucks for much better stats. It’s no question you should try and pry Bradley away from me, and even if I won’t give up Bradley, I’ll assess what a Dixon deal would be worth for you if you just want advice.


ANDY ELLIOTT

Name	Points	Rebounds	Assists	Turnovers	Steals	Blocks	Fouls	FG%	FT%	3PT%
Mason Dixon	9.3	8.2	1.7	1.2	0.5	2.2	3.0	.619	.444	.000
Andy Elliott	13.8	7.2	2.2	0.2	0.3	1.2	2.2	.621	.524	.000

Lot of green to see here, and a key thing to note is that Elliott was only playing 20 minutes off the bench. His field goal percentage is even more efficient than Dixon’s. The only downside is that contract, which is more expensive for longer than Dixon’s unless you plan on taking Elliott on as a project to throw some points into him (or next season’s TC is a bounce back).


LARRY CANFIELD

Name	Points	Rebounds	Assists	Turnovers	Steals	Blocks	Fouls	FG%	FT%	3PT%
Mason Dixon	9.3	8.2	1.7	1.2	0.5	2.2	3.0	.619	.444	.000
Larry Canfield	19.2	11.3	2.3	1.5	0.2	3.0	4.0	.607	.591	.000

Canfield wins in a split by one category, but where he wins, he wins big. Canfield could be a true 20-10 player and all star candidate under the right circumstances.


BARNEY WAGERS

Name	Points	Rebounds	Assists	Turnovers	Steals	Blocks	Fouls	FG%	FT%	3PT%
Mason Dixon	9.3	8.2	1.7	1.2	0.5	2.2	3.0	.619	.444	.000
Barney Wagers	14.5	10.0	1.0	1.8	0.3	0.5	3.2	.463	.625	.000

So there you have it. Barney is the only selection on my list that doesn’t do that much better than—or even as well as—Mason Dixon. Gotta cut him some slack though because he’s a vet min.


Now overall, there are other names you can go for, but you’re less likely to get them. I don’t think it’s fair to compare, for example, max money bigs or players in other positions to Mason Dixon, but there are certainly far more routes to be explored than to settle for a Dixon trade just because your PM box is chock full of messages from the Pistons. So that’s an article for another day that doesn’t count towards the point total of this article. And while this isn’t a ten pointer, it’s about all I can stand to write about fake basketball right now. I hope you enjoyed it, but more importantly, I hope you learned something.

[greepleairport]

As someone who has tried to use tables in BBCode, I concede, that's hard work. including table cell words, 2400+ words, +7pts