60 seasons of SLOE: End of an Era?

[greepleairport]

Much to my chagrin, there has been a loud calling for the league to end following the Pistons remarkable 4-peat championship reign - one presumed to end now that Gerry Folse has entered free agency, and will not be retained by the Pistons due to luxury taxes left unpaid.

To me, it feels like the league can start again. To a number of vets - some of whom have been playing for 60 seasons, closing in on 10 real years - it’s spelling an end of days. While it feels unconscionable to me, as an active GM still in pursuit of his first ‘ship, I think I understand how others would have burnt out. Let’s take a look first at the GMs who have officially retired, those who are actively discussing retirement, and those who are hanging on by a thread (or arguably gone already).

False9, Orlando Magic

Career Record
1844-1354

Since S21 2011-2012
League Champion in 2018, 2029, and 2030
PBSL GM of the Year 2018, 2025, 2041, 2045, 2049

False9 has been done for a long time. Best years behind him - one of the first GMs to truly threaten the league for its first ever 3-peat - false9 has seen the league more as a chore than as a pleasure. With an irish goodbye, he’d rather not discuss it, and let his formerly magical Magic go into the hands of a new, young and hungry GM.

…or so he thought. The departure of false9 started a slew of departures and discussion of shutting the whole league down.

IamQuailman, Milwaukee Bucks

Career Record
2744-2176

Since S1 1990-1991
League Champion in 2008, 2021, and 2027
PBSL GM of the Year 2046

This is not the first time Quail has feigned quitting the league. Known for flipping a zero team into a hero team, that is exactly what he did in S60, and it just did not go his way. This zero to hero flip with a loss has not uncommonly sparked the talk of resignation for Quail, but this time it will stick. I do not hear frustration or in-the-moment emotion following his 6 game loss to the Pistons (after a very tough and hard fought conference finals against the Lakers), but I do hear confidence in his decision.

Quail has made a huge impact on the league as the “Slime King,” the most infamous GM to move on an inexperienced or naive GM for the best player and, in return, sending somewhat shiny pennies (maybe spit / slime cleaned). Many a meme has been made in his honor or from his filthy slime. Anyone who had engaged Quail over is 60 season tenure - which is certainly everyone who had an all-star caliber player - had a very lively trade talk. I couldn’t help but trade with the guy. He was tenacious. He pissed me off. He made me chuckle. He shamelessly explored his own vulnerability in defeat (and in a trade that ultimately failed).

But he’s really sailing off into the sunset this time, and the league is worse for it. We can all only hope he wants to come back.

BallSoHard, Detroit Pistons

Career Record
2537-1809

1990 -1991 thru 2001 - 2002 (Warriors)
2004 - 2005 thru 2028 - 2029 (Grizzlies)
2033 - 2034 thru 2048 - present (Pistons)
League Champion 1992, 1999, 2004, 2010, 2046, 2047, 2048, 2048
PBSL GM of the Year 1991

Winner of the league’s first ever 4-peat championship, what else does Balls have to accomplish? We were all impressed with his 3-peat and especially with his 4-peat. Annoyed, even. In his four year run, no one ever beat him more than twice in the finals, with Mamba’s Lakers and Quail’s 3-purp Bucks claiming a couple games apiece (honorable mention to 78’s Rockets who surprisingly took the Pistons to Game 7 in the semis).

My career as a GM is too young to recount Balls’s first two stints as a GM, but in his third and potentially final run, I saw the method to his madness: build an incredibly strong team, tax man be damned, and when it’s over, it’s over. The first time he did this with the Pistons, it blew up in his face. His third season back in 2036, he went all in on massive contracts for Luka Doncic, Dominick Cobb, Ernest Long, and Elisha Davis, only to peter out in the Conference Finals. $100m plus over the cap that year and a 2-yr repeater, Balls blew the team up and returned to obscurity until his tax was paid and a new build was underway, leading to his 4-peat.

Even without his 4-yr Finals MVP Gerry Folse, next year’s Pistons will make a playoff run. Even without Balls himself.

The JNR, Minnesota Timberwolves

Career Record
2600-2320

Since S1 1990 - 1991
League Champion 2022
PBSL GM of the Year 1998, 2012

The JNR has been mostly tapped out for several seasons now. Thus far unwilling to let his team go to waste, for a long time he has otherwise expressed willingness to hand his team over to any interested warm body. His last complete build included Mitchell Robinson, OG Anunoby, Dennis Wolfgang and Odell Raspberry, all of whom did great things with other teams - just not enough in Minnesota. Life happened. Asinine (to him) renames happened. The league reboot never happened.

So The JNR laid in wait for _something_ to happen, and that something became Xue Huo and Lenz Durrenberger, but even these two have not been enough to get The JNR reengaged. If future MVP Xue Huo cannot do it, I cannot hold out hope for JNR’s future. Whenever JNR does go, it will be sad to see an OG (Anunoby) GM leave.

Also, I miss the Horns and Fangs pod. It really made me feel Sim League Over Everything vibes, even when after an hour or so, The JNR would be quick to say “enough sim league, lets get to non sim league questions.”

Garbageman, Chicago Bulls

Career Record
2047-1195

Since S20 2010 - 2011
League Champion 2020, 2031, 2035, 2038, 2039, 2041, 2044, 2045
PBSL GM of the Year 2016, 2028, 2029, 2037

This one hurts. Garbageman brought me here, taught me well, and has hit a roadblock in his future in the PBSL. With more ‘ships than any other GM (prior to Balls 4 yr run), regular contributor to all things media (pods - so many pods, articles, excellent training camp breakdowns, top tier memes, questions for GMs on every single preseason presser), and one of the longer (longest?) reigns as the league’s commissioner (still contributing to commish duties when necessary, and often), it would seem gman’s burnout has entered the chat. Given his activity, it makes sense. Garbageman is one of the primary reasons this league has breathed over the last few league decades, and I can’t imagine a PBSL without him.

Back when the Pistons traded Kai Jones to the Knicks for Douglas Haun and picks, garbageman believed the end was nigh. He wrote as much. It extended a dominance the league had never seen, and with so many losing seasons for everyone outside of Detroit, there was not much reason to try. Like a few other GMs, though, garbageman smelled blood in the water in Detroit once Gerry Folse could not get the Kai Jones trade treatment. It was the right time to make sure they did not win 4 in a row. In addition to gman, Quail and Mamba felt the same way (to name a few), pushing all their chips into the pot to take down Detroit, but the league was cruel. Not only did gman’s Bulls miss the conference finals, but no one else succeeded. Balls’s Pistons had done the unthinkable, won four in a row, setting an insurmountable bar for other GMs to attain - a 4peat.

Prior to this, Gman made a decision to win more championships than anyone else, and he achieved that goal. With eight, no one else had won that many, not even Balls, until Balls won 4 straight. What else can he do, but play the buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-basketball on repeat for however many more decades (instead of 10 minutes that won him meme of the year seasons ago)? The most championships ever could be done again, but with a team built to do just that this year and losing, gman seems a bit tapped out.

MexicanMamba, Los Angele Lakers

Career Record
1150-654

Since 2028 - 2029
League Champion 2034
“The Commish”

Whereas garbageman’s calls to close the league hurt, Mexicanmamba’s intimations that it could actually come to an end have sounded the alarm. The league commissioner must do so much to keep a league going, but when the calls to close are louder than the calls to keep the league moving? That much work done all the time, every week, for people who don’t mind the league going up in smoke, make it hard to stay motivated. If Mamba wasn’t raising his young buck Safi to become one of the all time great players of the league, Mamba too would probably be spent.

So play those horns of Nina Simone’s “Feeling Good” loudly, please! For everyone to hear! May Safi’s future remain bright and free from the curses wrought by the TC gods!

___

That's to name a few of the more vocal voices over the last week, anyways. All things considered, a few of these GMs leaving would be fine. People burn out. Losing time and again after trying so hard is absolutely demoralizing. Conversely, winning so much and actively doing so little to keep winning can’t feel like too much fun after a while either.

But if all of these GMs come together to say goodbye, on top of a failing simputer that could render this problem completely moot, I am afraid for PBSL’s future. I spent an embarrassing amount of time learning how to sim league, and for all of that knowledge to become completely useless? Without winning a championship? (I mean, it's all arguably useless anyway but...) It would definitely suck, and I am not ready to let PBSL go.

[Mike Lowry]

Definitely RESPECT the "Old Heads"
Appreciate the game they dropped on me,
but I feel like I just got here.

BET BACK!

[LazyTitanSmash]

I'm super new here, but this game is fantastic and so much fun. I was the worse team last year, but I can't tell you how many times I checked up on my guys. Let's not let it die!!!! But I can imagine losing to the Pistons for a year straight could suck the fire out of other GMs.

I hope some of the "old heads" get bored and check on the league, and it's still here.

[greepleairport]

~1690 words, +6pts

[TheSyndicate]

Wow. Didn’t even make the cut?

[greepleairport]

Wow. Didn’t even make the cut?

Ha! No. Good riddance.

Nah, honestly I wasn’t familiar enough with your situation. I had a section set up for you, actually, but felt I’d be making too many assumptions. And in writing this I didn’t want to push anyone on the fence over the edge.

But now that you’re gone and I’m in a tax year, an addendum isn’t out of the question


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[TheSyndicate]

Wow. Didn’t even make the cut?

Ha! No. Good riddance.

Nah, honestly I wasn’t familiar enough with your situation. I had a section set up for you, actually, but felt I’d be making too many assumptions. And in writing this I didn’t want to push anyone on the fence over the edge.

But now that you’re gone and I’m in a tax year, an addendum isn’t out of the question


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

That’s what I like to hear!

[JNR]

Great article. And it’s a good place for me to say it.

I quit. Timberwolves are open!

[IamQuailman]

FYI Scott/Balls was Lakers OG GM then Pistons later. OG Warriors was BowtotheBill/Ben

But this was a nice little read and tribute to us OLD FOLKS

[greepleairport]

FYI Scott/Balls was Lakers OG GM then Pistons later. OG Warriors was BowtotheBill/Ben

Weird. I knew this. Yet his coach's page reflects Warriors... Ah well

[MexicanMamba]

FYI Scott/Balls was Lakers OG GM then Pistons later. OG Warriors was BowtotheBill/Ben

Weird. I knew this. Yet his coach's page reflects Warriors... Ah well

This is because your Lakers were turned into the Warriors, not a situation where the old Warriors were just re-activated. Created some quirks in the history that we didn't account for.

Sent from my SM-F711U using Tapatalk

[IamQuailman]

FYI Scott/Balls was Lakers OG GM then Pistons later. OG Warriors was BowtotheBill/Ben

Weird. I knew this. Yet his coach's page reflects Warriors... Ah well

I wonder if it was something in the program. Like the GM page was overwritten at some point? who knows lol but all good man, i enjoyed the read except I DONT SLIME EVERY NEW GM, THATS JOSH AND ANGRYBANANA

[greepleairport]

ADDENDUM

The landscape has changed since the writing of this article, and it’s time for an update. Quailman has returned - making me look like a fool for what I had said above - and The JNR and BallSoHard have officially left the building. Also the Hawks remain as equally unmanned as the completely simulated Supersonics, so we can touch a bit on LoCo89’s lack of commitment to anything beyond facilitating a salary dumping ground for a decade of PBSL.

But first, a true legend of PBSL GMs, not yet discussed, has officially called it quits…

The syndicate, Denver Nuggets

Career Record
2703-2053

Since S3 1992-1993
League Champion 2006, 2007, 2024, 2025, 2028, 2037
PBSL GM of the year 2000, 2009, 2021, 2026, 2044

What a measuring stick of a career. After winning six, Syndicate inspired the gman to become the GM with the most rings, who rattled off about 5 rings right after Syndy’s last. But Syndicate had set a standard of building excellent, sustainable teams, earning his first two and second two championships back-to-back. And, I might be wrong about this as a newer era GM, but I believe Syndicate is the only GM besides the legendary WigNosy to earn two ships in a row, twice (not counting 4-peats).

I’ve certainly completed some notorious trades in my day (one nearly league-destroying trade with Balls, our one and only trade - Alex Caruso for Darius Garland), but the notoriety of my trading started with The Syndicate. A truly shrewd negotiator, this guy could sell me wooden nickels for Fabian Hub if he wanted. I exaggerate, but depending on who you talked to at the time, Syndicate did just that sending me a declining Jerry West (http://pbsl.ijbl.net/2034/players/player65.htm) for a rising David Leiker (http://pbsl.ijbl.net/2034/players/player88.htm) during the offseason. As you can see, following training camp, the biggest difference between the two was West’s dynamic scoring ability, whereas Leiker could not shoot a 3 to save his life (boy could he defend the three, though!).

I still think about this trade. I would not do it if I could do it again, though it made sense to me at the time and got me back into the finals (only to be swept by Mamba’s Clippers), as my mentor Gman reminded me while I felt all the feels in my sweeping defeat. But it was not anywhere near as bad a trade as Danny Campbell and Robert Bonnett for Saddiq Bey and Richie Cuevas!!! This was a true swindling of epic proportions, and in retrospect I’d still say this was true even if Campbell hadn’t dropped 72 points net that Training Camp. But, to win now, then, Saddiq and Richie would not have done much for me, and theoretically, DC was the guy that could push me over the top. I was a sucker for DC's 100 DRB, 100 PSD and 100 BLK (not to mention 96 INS), so much so that I shipped out the almost-purple Saddiq Bey and rookie Cuevas to get him. Bey for DC was bad enough, but the enormity of the trade created so much hand-wringing on both sides that it couldn’t not get executed. It was one of my more thrilling moments as a GM of PBSL, truly.

I definitely would NEVER do this trade again, even if DC did not die in TC, but The Syndicate turned a fake basketball player into a life-altering experience for me. And sure, I have talked some smack here, but truthfully, if Syndicate ever came back to PBSL, I’d be the first GM to let Syndicate slime all over me.

Miss ya bud.

Seriously though, there’s so much more to unpack with this guy than my trade experiences, and much analysis could go into his team-building and game-planning and such, but I’m already on target for another point at least, so

Loco89, Atlanta Hawks

Career Record
1580-2856

1990 - 1991 through 2027 - 2028, Memphis Grizzlies
2034 - 2035 through present (???) Atlanta Hawks
PBSL GM of the Year 2002, 2019

For anyone from my generation of GM’ing, it’s shocking to see even the simputer recognize LoCo89 as a GMOTY candidate (much disrespect!), let alone a two time winner. Loco89 racked up a tax bill so large that it took an insane series of contract signings by K-100 and a 4-peat championship team to enter the stratosphere of tax hell that Loco created for himself. Loco is the raison d'etre for lux tax.

But, when he returned to the league in earnest, he worked hard toward paying off his tax bill, and did little else: did not track points earned on contract dumping trades, did not ship out his baller rookies for more points before they became RFA’s that he couldn’t retain, did not insure his baller rookies, either, and quite frankly did frye all other than type ‘hawks accept’ when someone was ready to dump a contract. In the latter years, he didn’t even do that. I have an unread Skype message I sent him back in July, and I’m sure that’s more recent than others who have hit him up.

In fact, how the hell is this guy still a GM? I swear I saw the Hawks with a RoboGM, no? I mean, houses were cleaned this offseason, but apparently not Atlanta’s GM. I guess one can prioritize handing out better teams to new GMs than this disastrous Hawks team, but I’ve been ready to see RoboGM on the Hawks page for at least one real life year now.

No offense.

-----

So is this it? No more GMs retiring and the rest still invested? I hope so, because it will be nice to mix the old with the new, breathing new life into both. Have a fun S61 everyone.

[greepleairport]

~960 word addendum
+1690 word original
=2,650 words
+2pts on top of the 6 already earned