"You’re the King of the World! You started at the top and you’re staying there! The Los Angeles Clippers have the #1 pick! It’s unsinkable! (Legal Disclaimer ...
"Do you want to move up without the effort? The Golden State Glider takes you from a lowly #3 and slides you right into the #2 spot. It’s smooth, it’s sleek, and it’s almost but not quite ...
"It looks like a Top 2 pick, it feels like a Top 2 pick, but it’s Fool's Gold! The Denver Nuggets just took the biggest tumble of the night. From #2 to #4! It’s shiny, it’s pretty ...
"Look into the distance! What do you see? It’s a drop in value! The Atlanta Hawks entered at #5, but with these blurred lenses, they’ve slid down to #6! Objects in the mirror are further ...
"You take the Knicks, you take the 76ers pick, you put 'em in the Core-Ex and what do you get? The same juice you started with! The New York Knicks are staying at #8. It’s 100 ...
"Are the Charlotte Hornets bugging you for a higher pick? Spray them with Buzz-Off! Watch as they stay frozen in the 10th position. No jumping, no flying, just stationary insect action ...
"Is your team sucking for all the wrong reasons? Try the Spurs-A-Way! It’s reliable, it’s industrial, and just like the San Antonio Spurs luck tonight, it stays exactly where you put it ...