Darth Vegito addresses the crowd from the podium: Ok, ok everyone simmer down. Quiet down. We'll get this thing underway. I would like to thank all of you for being here. We all know what the deal is here in Charlotte. We started from scratch in every way. The league's first expansion team and we knew this would be a long and tedious process. I told you to expect it last year and we expect it here in Charlotte. We are not building a team to simply compete. That's not good enough and the front office knew what they were getting when they brought me in. We are going to do this right and build it to last. But there must be patience. There must be patience.
There MUST be patience. This is something I repeat to myself every night right before I touch myself. I have a history as a GM of lacking patience and there is one thing that I did come to the realization of this off-season. That's that there will be NO shortcuts in the process. Not because I don't want to take them but because they don't exist. When you start with zero assets AND zero points it places you in a special place. We worked hard for points last season. Accumulated 32 and spent 30 just now for TC Insurance. That was a wake up call. The college players are so raw that if we can not speed up their development, then this will indeed be a 4-6 year build from scratch. So we do have a game plan and we will speed this up if we decide that it's smart and logical to do so. But this will be a long process.
Now onto some exciting positive news: our new players from this years draft!!! We landed the 2nd and 8th overall picks in this years draft. With the 2nd pick we selected Lavar Ball! Lavar would you like to say a few words?
Lavar jumps out of his seat hastily as if he's never had a microphone in front of him.
Lavar: Frye yeah I do! I just want to put the rest of the league on notice. Yall <expletive deleted> ain't seen a real basketball player until ya'll have seen Lavar <expletive deleted> Ball. Kevin Love...you ain't shit. Lavar takes his shirt off violently. Kevin Durant...you a punk bitch. All you Kevins out there ain't shit. What ya'll need to do is stay in yo damn lane. In fact, I wish Karl Malone was still in the league cause I would have whooped his bl.....................
Lavar gets pulled down off the podium by Darth.
Darth: Alrighty, Thanks Lavar for that. We look forward to your future media time. Anyways...with our 8th pick we selected Lonzo Ball! I know what you are thinking, are these two related...well not that we know of. Lonzo does for some reason call Lavar "Daddy", which is kinda weird but we just try to ignore it. Lonzo want to give a few words.
Lonzo stands up reluctantly, head down, and steps up to the podium.
Lonzo: Umm thanks for coming. I will try my best to give my all to this organization and team. I am dedicated to improving everyday, and also making my teammates better in the process. Thank you.
Darth: Thanks Lonzo. I will point out that while we didn't play most of our newer guys and 2nd year players this pre-season, Lonzo did elect to play and I must say that I am very excited about this young man's future. In those 6 games he averaged 20 points and 6 assists, so it's definitely a great start to his career. Thank you all for coming and if you have any questions for myself or either Lonzo or Lavar, feel free to ask.
